Anniversary

Fifteen years ago this hunk above cried his eyes out when he saw me.  He will neither confirm nor deny if it was love or horror that brought those tears to the surface.  Yet he has stuck it out.  He always knows just the thing to do.  He truly is my Superman.  I have always been completely taken care of.  He makes me laugh.  He makes me feel safe.  He knows when to joke and when I need serious.  He's always got me covered. He has brought more to my life than I could have ever managed on my own.

Every moment with him has been spectacular because they all add up to now.  And when the last day comes, it will never be enough.  All I will want is another day.  I love you.

What I Learned On Easter........

I know I should be using Easter as a time to blog about the Resurrection and a moment of spiritual enlightenment.  I am kind of sad for myself that this post isn't going to be about that.  Later I will probably have some shame associated with the lost opportunity.

Easter morning, as the sun was rising and I was snuggled in my down comforter on my yummy bed.
 I tried to have a moment of reflection.  I was just getting started considering the massive implications of the Atonement when the kids scuttled in.  Mads and Max got on the bed and wedged between Officer Handsome and I.  Mads pulled out the old 'kitten' routine and started bunting and kissing us and saying, 'Happy Easter!' to everyone.  As she cuddled into the bend of my knees and Max patted my face, Mads (where do things like this come from AT times like these?) blurts.....'I know what Meth is!"  I have a moment where I truly consider that she has learned how to make meth.  It flashes through my brain that she heard about some meth bust on KSL, in which they invariably tell you the ingredients, and she is informing me that by taking battery acid, fertilizer, and comet she can start her own business.  "Um, what Mads?"  (Hear the worry?)  "The Devil's spit!!!"

I am flooded with relief.  When I ask her who the Devil is....considering all of the answers......she falls back on her 2008 presidential campaign propaganda and shouts, "Barack Obama is Satan!"

I Bit The Bullet

     Er, that is a picture that I took while I was waiting to board my ship to paradise....the boarding happened to be much later than expected.
      Something else I didn't really expect.  I pulled Jack out of school.  There wasn't one big reason.  I have wanted to homeschool all of the kids for a long time.  He was being overlooked and not challenged.  And he HATED school.  HATED it.  I felt like I owed him to try something else since four continual years of hating 75% of his day didn't ever make him wake up with a different attitude.  I knew it would be a challenge.  Still...I didn't really expect what I got.
      We quickly formed a sweet little co-op of our own with two other families and two fun mamas.  The kids are pretty awesome and it is nice to have a group for the male child to hang with, especially around holidays.  We meet on a weekly basis and have a fun project which the kids get through with gritted teeth so that they can move on to challenging each other on the Wii (yuck).
     For the first few days while Jack and I were on our own, it was like all of the dreams I had about homeschooling.....except for the missing ten other children and the long farm table.  I tested him out of 3rd grade and moved him on to some other things that didn't glass over his eyes.  He read, he wrote, he did algebra.  And then the honeymoon adjourned rather quickly.  Despite how terrifying and wicked mean I find myself, Jack is not ruffled or intimidated.  I hate it.  If I don't have intimidation I have nothing.  Even love doesn't pack the punch pure meanness does.  Jack and I are a poor personality match.  I pray that someday he finds a girl just like his dad that can put up with the shear amounts of stubborn that spit out of him like lava.  He has yet to actually win one of our scuffles.....but he is getting close.  Ssh don't tell him.  I'll flat out let it be known I dream about starting to drink.
     All of the field trips, organic learning in situation, brain bending science experiments, leading Jack to find internal motivation, and break out literary adventures......they are in the crapper and I am about ready to flush.  I think my expectations were too high.  I think learning is so fun.  I want it to be amazing and exciting.  I think he should pick up on whatever I present him before I am even finished.  I think that I don't want to have to stand behind him with a bull whip and physically press him into doing a teeny weeny bit of work. 
     At this present moment it is 4:38 p.m. mountain standard time.  He has done nothing more than eek out a few words of writing.  He has yet to attempt his math.  He did not read anything.  There was no science experiment.  He did however move all of the chairs from one room to another, make cup upon cup of chocky moomie for Max, play football with Max, make two meals for himself, poke me everytime he walked by, help unload groceries, and explain a movie that I haven't seen.  And still......still! Even though I want to drown myself or put my passport to good use by disappearing.......I STILL think that for right now, this is a better choice for Jack than going to an organized school institution.

#20 Someone You See Yourself Marrying or Being With In the Future

Finally slummin' my way back to the challenge.  And it reminds me that this challenge was probably meant for a 15 year old. 
I'm pretty sure you can guess who I can see myself married to.  I admit I tried to picture myself married to other people but the people in my fantasy weren't smiling.  It's not easy being Peczuh and it takes a real man to voluntarily jump on this train. 
When I was younger I truly believed in 'soul mates'.  I knew there was only one person out there for me.  It seemed so romantic!  And that is how I wanted to see my life.  Years of living have made it pretty obvious that not many things work out that beautifully.  I know that my beloved could have lots of matches out there that would be good for him.  I on the other hand have literallly 0 matches.  I learned this the hard way when my Bobby and I took the eHarmony quiz to see if we were matches.  We weren't.  He had piles and piles of cute girls that were ready for their first 'get to know you' chat.  That's when I nixed his account. I wasn't a match for anyone  for about 5 years, and then there were two guys that were living at home and addicted to gaming.  Obviously even eHarmony had given up on me. 
I tend to be extreme in most areas of my life and eHarmony let me know that not many people can take that.  I love hard.  I cry hard.  I dance hard.  I hate hard.  I believe what I believe with intensity and I don't bend to anyone else very easily.  Now I'm not saying my man is really my little wife.  He doesn't let me run the show, he just knows how to handle with care.
I know my life wouldn't be what it is today without my guy.  I love him.  I try to honor him.  No surprise...I see myself with him in the future.

Is Your Mamma Gonna Miss Ya Now You're Gone?

The incident occured Sunday October 31st around 0530.   The only witnesses to the crime were the handsome couple toodling down I-15.  The children were rendered unconscious from hours of Halloween partying and sugar withdrawl.

Witness statements.....
     Officer Handsome:  I think a jackrabbit just jumped in front of us.
     Lovely Lady:  What the *&^%$#@!  Aahahaha!  Something just flew at us!

Despite the dark nature of the night sky Officer Handsome signals and moves to the right.  Upon reaching the off-ramp he completes his stop and exits the SUV with an LED flash light.  He examines the bloodless carnage and returns to debrief.  Handing over the flashlight to Lovely Lady, he snickers and insists she should find interesting the scene at the front of the vehicle.  With much trepidation and a sense of foreboding, she rounds the SUV and finds herself face to carcass with an extremely large, and quite substantially dead owl.  Having known this is what she would find, she shrieks with pride, "I told you so!".  Then with the fear of God like ice water in her soul.....she runs down the off ramp pawing at the arteries in her own neck and shielding her ears from her own terrified screams.  It appears to be a case of suicide by SUV/Cop.

The body remains afixed with a rigid determination to the front of the vehicle.  Upon reaching Cedar City and the breaking of dawn across the morning sky, they were able to peer into the dead yellow eyes of the owl.  Contemplating removal of the body from the grill, their decision was made by the quickly growing crowd of excited Asian tourists.  The handsome couple were forced to move on with the corpse still firmly implanted, amid the flash of high quality Asain cameras.

The couple made many friends as they crossed Southern Utah, Arizona, the sinful and ugly Nevada, into the unsavory village of Barstow California.  People love to be entertained as they drive the Godforsaken desert.  This day, their dreams were realized.  Many hand gestures, smiles, gasps, and screams were exchanged.  For the few tenderhearted still remaining in the soul parched Nevada, there were tears shed as the owl triumphantly sped at great speeds, past their waning vehicles.

Upon entering Barstow, the town where life no longer has meaning, the handsome couple prepared to lay their new friend to rest.  Lovely Lady retrieved her secret stash of surgical gloves, secreted away in the secret compartment, for a scene such as this that she secretly knew would happen one day.  Pressing them into the caring, yet strong and manly hands of Officer Handsome, she exclaimed, "Don't touch that foulness with your bare hands!"  The bird was swiftly removed with little trouble, despite it's ability to ride the grill through four states.  Pictures were taken to document the momentous occasion.  The bird was toed by Officer Handsome just to be sure no signs of life remained after the arduous journey.  Nope, it was truely dead.  It was time for goodbyes and a few photo ops from the new crowd gathering at the Carl's Jr.  Farewell friend that gave us such memories!  Farewell.

Day #19 Nicknames I Have And Why I Have Them

Mariah: The name of the Wind in 'Paint Your Wagon'. It's an awesome western where this chick ends up with 2 hubbies during the California Gold Rush. Not really sure why my family decided to call me this but here are some of the lyrics of the song.

Away out here they got a name
For rain and wind and fire
The rain is Tess, the fire Joe,
And they call the wind Maria


Maria blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a flyin'
Maria makes the mountains sound
Like folks were up there dying

Out here they got a name for rain
For wind and fire only
But when you're lost and all alone
There ain't no word but lonely

And I'm a lost and lonely man
Without a star to guide me
Maria blow my love to me
I need my girl beside me


 Mariechka:  Throwing in a little Hungarian/Croatian to round things out.  My family used to tell my sister/cousin and I that we were Hungarian princesses.  Long story.  Sort of true.


Amyah:  This one is from my Grandma.

Soup:  This came from my maiden name.  One of my friends in Jr. High called me Peasoup and shortened it to Soup.

Pizza:  This is a given.  Most people mispronounce my maiden name and don't say Peezee, but Peck zuh, which I guess is like pizza to most children.

Easy Peczuh:  Hilarious considering my minimal dating history.  This would be like calling a tall fat man Tiny.

Ame or Ames:  This obviously comes straight from Amy shortened to one syllable for those of us that can't roll that second syllable off of our tongues.  I like these.

Maloo and Pooger:  From my dad.

Amarie: From my mama.  It combines my first and middle name.

Babe:  I am pretty partial to this one.

Mama:  My fave.

Day #18 Plans, Dreams, Goals

Plans:  Eat a lot of Chinese food.  Read a lot of books.  Love a lot of people.  Do a little good.  Be a great Momma.  Be an excellent wife.  Fight to the finish.

Dreams:  Getting a good nights sleep.  Eating food that is magically devoid of calories.  Learning to play the violin or the piano.  Writing something.  Taking a hot bath.  Reading a book that makes me laugh and cry.  Amazing vacations.  Abs and triceps.  Homeschooling.

Goals:  Finishing the yard.  Journaling.  Scripture reading.  Cleaning the kitchen counter.  Making my bedroom into an oasis.