Pickle People

Pickle People..............I hate to tell you I don't know what they are. Madison does. Mads has never been afraid of anything in her life that I can even think of ***** until now. She came to me yesterday and she was shaking in fear. She said she was afraid of pickle people. She refused to go into her room alone and made me turn lights on even though the house was lit by sunshine. I hoped she would forget about the pickle people, but she didn't. I had a hard time not laughing even though she was clearly terrified. (I had such a hard time, that I actually did laugh uncontrollably. What a horrible mother.)
Bedtime came around and I for one had let the Pickle People slip my mind. She went to bed like she was supposed to but soon tore out of her room crying so hard it was unintelligible. Then I remembered.......The Pickle People. Daddy took her back to bed, along with his taser. He shot the taser all over the bedroom, under the bed, in the closet, even in her dresser drawers (apparently the Pickle People are about the size of squash and are easily concealed). All was going well, until Riley growled from her bed.........trying to be funny (evil little beast) and scared the willickers out of Mads. I guess tasers are nothing compared to the power of pickle. Needless to say I had a bed mate.

Madison tells me that she learned of Pickle People from a book........so much for the power of literacy. They sleep in the basement and when they wake up they say 'Boo' to scare you. I guess that could be scarey. She just saw the picture with this blog entry and confirmed that it does fit the profile of a Pickle Person. She said I should save it to show her dad so he knows what he is trying to taser next time.

Spooky Home Evening.......

Every year around Halloween we have a family Halloween dinner. We didn't get quite as wild this year, since most of our things are in storage. I started popping some pictures so I could blog about the fun event. Mostly I blog because it is like journaling to me. I don't really like journaling because I think I sound stupid......and Jason agrees.........sadly for me. So this is my journal. Anyhoo, we wanted to remember our fun tradition since we all (excluding Jason and Jack) love Halloween so much. The pictures are terrible. Jason actually told me if I continue on this way I should really take a photography class. He's right. He also said that he didn't think I even cared about Halloween dinner, I just wanted something to blog about. How rude. Pathetic picture of our Mummy hotdogs. So delicious and plump for a mummy. The hotdogs lead to a great discussion on Egyptology and mummification. So there, we learned something.

Devil's eyes. Oh..........oh, the terror.

Maggots and flies. I had to try some way to get a wee bit of nourishment into the kids. Maggots are known for their protein.

Another terrible picture.................lopped off lady fingers. Mmmmmm don't mind if I do.....

This little gem was a fiasco. It is bloody hand punch. The first bloody hand fell from it's perch in the freezer and splattered blood and gore all over the kitchen and our legs. We had to go cut off the other hand and freeze it until we were ready.

Dessert. Frankenstein heads sans gluten......because gluten is 'dead to us'. I'm trying to get Mads to tell everyone that gluten is 'out of the circle of trust'. So far she just tells everyone she meets....'I can't have wheat!! Does that have wheat in it? Do they know I can't have wheat or my stomach will explode?" So Franky is all rice, because rice 'is nice'.

Daddy's Gone a Hunting...............

While the boys were out at the rifle hunt, the girls had another spa day. Here is our spa it's name is Eden. Our catch phrase is 'Styles for Adam, Eve and their little devils'. Yes , we do all kinds of hair and makeup.

I'm not sure why, but when the girls do makeup, it is all out grotesque. They don't even try to do pretty. These beautiful styles were made with a free compact that has about 12 different eye shadow colors in it. I wouldn't let them use my real makeup because they tend to dig at it with the little wand, creating huge holes.

Max was ashamed and somewhat bewildered at why we would do this and think it was fun. He would rather cuddle, have milk and maybe race some cars, or have a horsey ride.

My stunning evening look. My hair was masterfully put into ponytails, then artfully braided and clipped with every clippie that we own. It was utterly relaxing...........honestly. I love to have the kids play with my hair. I hate to say it, but Jack is the best at combing my hair because he is more careful than the girls. Too bad he was out hunting.

Big Buck Down on Utah Ground

BIG BUCK DOWN ON UTAH GROUND!!! I hear that is some awesome saying, if you are into hunting. At least that is what my two 19 year old hunting partners screamed when I shot this buck. So I am using the saying........therefore I am a cool hunter too.Yes, the wee ones have been indoctrinated by me. They saw the whole slaughter. Max screamed Mommy as I had to leave his side so as not to render him deaf from the 308 shot. He was pretty stoked when he saw the deer and mooed for the next 10 minutes. I don't think he could ever figure out why it didn't moo back.
I feel slight amounts of shame, as the deer is a beautiful specimen. He was useless against my sniper like ability and dropped like a brick. My guide has this on video, but he so far has been too busy hunting himself to forward the action packed sequence.
It was a gorgeous day on some private ground that I (Jason I'm sure was hoping he would be the one to draw for this, not me!) drew out for. The leaves had fallen from most of the oak brush, so everything looked gray. The deer where hard to spot unless they were moving. They would appear and disappear quickly. The above picture is my favorite because Mads is counting the points. For those who care or know what this means, the buck is almost a 30. Unfortunately I didn't use the muzzle loader, which is usually what I hunt with, or he may have made the books.
Jason's Christmas gift will be this little sweetie mounted. Shh don't tell him!! I just haven't decided where I will allow this deer to be hung. Jason wants him in the place of honor, over the stairs, but I have other ideas for that area. Maybe the garage or the basement storage room. Better yet I might build him his very own mausoleum in the backyard where he can be the guard deer for the lawn mower and weed eater. That is a heavy responsibility I would only give to the very best.

Areta S. Blake

I just wanted to quickly say something about Jason's Grandma. I never know how to say someone died because all of the 'sayings' are horrible.......she passed on (ugly), she passed (ugly), sleeping with the angels (no, she's awake, I'm pretty sure), blah blah blah, so this is an ugly way of saying it too, but she died last week. Areta and Max are awesome people. They always remind me of President Hinkley and Marjorie. The are the darn cutest little couple ever. I'm not really pumped that she's dead but I know she missed Max so much and I am sure he was missing her. Well, I'm glad they are with each other now. They are great examples to our family and we love to read their histories. Yes, they were dutiful journal keepers. I am shamed.
Just two sweet little people populated exponentially!!! They have six children and as of now over 120 great grandchildren. I hope that Jason and I can keep them at the fore front of our thoughts so that we may pattern our family after them. We want to be just like them when we grow up.

6 Unsepctacular Quirks

Tagged by Ruth to tell 6 unspectacular quirks about myself. I'm sure that I have some .........I'll have to ask Jason.

Unspectacular quirk # 1...........
When I read, or drive or watch TV, my hands must do something!! (Ruth I know this sounds like I am copying.) I pick the mascara out of my eyelashes. That one is a favorite. I will scratch my head (now I sound like a chimp) or I will feel any available skin for imperfections and then pick at them. This is so far from unspectacular that is is actually yucky. I have to do something, like have some kind of repeating body movement at almost all times. I can't just sit still.

Unspectacular quirk # 2 ...............
I must sleep with a fan on. I don't care if it is winter or summer. I must, must, must have fresh air. The lack of air moving can cause me to lose sleep.

Unspectacular quirk # 3.............
I must sleep with covers on! I only like to feel the fan air on my face, not the rest of my body. I have to sleep with some kind of weight on my body, like a sheet does not count as covers to me. I need more like a down comforter, no matter the weather or temperature. If I don't have some kind of weight on my body I feel vulnerable. I am convinced that it leaves me open to attack, massacre, murder and mayhem, and the monster under my bed.

Unspectacular quirk # 4...............
One way I deal with stress and anxiety is to read. You can tell how stressed I am feeling many times, by the amount of novels I can cut through in a week. I love to read and I do read everyday....but when I am stressed and anxious, I read more. It is my way of tuning out whatever is bothering me. It doesn't matter what the house looks like or what pressing matter is at hand, I will read right through it. It is my form of denial I think. If you notice my other blog, you'll be able to guess that I am anxious beyond belief about multiple things right now. So I have been shooting through about a book a day.

Unspectacular quirk # 5 .................
I will not allow my OB to touch me the closer I come to labor. Period, the end. I will actually stop going to the doctor at about 34 weeks. I just tell him that we both know the baby will come out, there is no need to touch me to verify it. I'll just show up at the hospital when I am ready.

Unspectacular quirk # 6.............
I must sing all day. Am I capable of singing? No, I am not. I could not carry a tune in a well made Kate Spade hand bag. Never the less, I must sing. I actually wake up with a song in my head and I am compelled to sing it. Most of the time I make up whole songs to music I know, but I change all of the words. Here's a little ditty to "I love to see the temple".......... I love to smooch my Maxy, I'll smooch him every day. I'll smooch his arms and legs and kiss him every way.
I know, I should probably go on American Idol. But my talent remains only a blessing unto my family........

Here's the crapper.............I'm supposed to tag people. I will do it because another quirk I have is I must follow rules although it goes against another quirk I have which involves hating to pressure other people via phone, email or post....Joey, Dev, Heather W., Heather O., Amanda, Shawna, and Caren. I am so sorry that I just tagged you. I hope you are not annoyed and now hate me.