Is Your Mamma Gonna Miss Ya Now You're Gone?

The incident occured Sunday October 31st around 0530.   The only witnesses to the crime were the handsome couple toodling down I-15.  The children were rendered unconscious from hours of Halloween partying and sugar withdrawl.

Witness statements.....
     Officer Handsome:  I think a jackrabbit just jumped in front of us.
     Lovely Lady:  What the *&^%$#@!  Aahahaha!  Something just flew at us!

Despite the dark nature of the night sky Officer Handsome signals and moves to the right.  Upon reaching the off-ramp he completes his stop and exits the SUV with an LED flash light.  He examines the bloodless carnage and returns to debrief.  Handing over the flashlight to Lovely Lady, he snickers and insists she should find interesting the scene at the front of the vehicle.  With much trepidation and a sense of foreboding, she rounds the SUV and finds herself face to carcass with an extremely large, and quite substantially dead owl.  Having known this is what she would find, she shrieks with pride, "I told you so!".  Then with the fear of God like ice water in her soul.....she runs down the off ramp pawing at the arteries in her own neck and shielding her ears from her own terrified screams.  It appears to be a case of suicide by SUV/Cop.

The body remains afixed with a rigid determination to the front of the vehicle.  Upon reaching Cedar City and the breaking of dawn across the morning sky, they were able to peer into the dead yellow eyes of the owl.  Contemplating removal of the body from the grill, their decision was made by the quickly growing crowd of excited Asian tourists.  The handsome couple were forced to move on with the corpse still firmly implanted, amid the flash of high quality Asain cameras.

The couple made many friends as they crossed Southern Utah, Arizona, the sinful and ugly Nevada, into the unsavory village of Barstow California.  People love to be entertained as they drive the Godforsaken desert.  This day, their dreams were realized.  Many hand gestures, smiles, gasps, and screams were exchanged.  For the few tenderhearted still remaining in the soul parched Nevada, there were tears shed as the owl triumphantly sped at great speeds, past their waning vehicles.

Upon entering Barstow, the town where life no longer has meaning, the handsome couple prepared to lay their new friend to rest.  Lovely Lady retrieved her secret stash of surgical gloves, secreted away in the secret compartment, for a scene such as this that she secretly knew would happen one day.  Pressing them into the caring, yet strong and manly hands of Officer Handsome, she exclaimed, "Don't touch that foulness with your bare hands!"  The bird was swiftly removed with little trouble, despite it's ability to ride the grill through four states.  Pictures were taken to document the momentous occasion.  The bird was toed by Officer Handsome just to be sure no signs of life remained after the arduous journey.  Nope, it was truely dead.  It was time for goodbyes and a few photo ops from the new crowd gathering at the Carl's Jr.  Farewell friend that gave us such memories!  Farewell.

Day #19 Nicknames I Have And Why I Have Them

Mariah: The name of the Wind in 'Paint Your Wagon'. It's an awesome western where this chick ends up with 2 hubbies during the California Gold Rush. Not really sure why my family decided to call me this but here are some of the lyrics of the song.

Away out here they got a name
For rain and wind and fire
The rain is Tess, the fire Joe,
And they call the wind Maria


Maria blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a flyin'
Maria makes the mountains sound
Like folks were up there dying

Out here they got a name for rain
For wind and fire only
But when you're lost and all alone
There ain't no word but lonely

And I'm a lost and lonely man
Without a star to guide me
Maria blow my love to me
I need my girl beside me


 Mariechka:  Throwing in a little Hungarian/Croatian to round things out.  My family used to tell my sister/cousin and I that we were Hungarian princesses.  Long story.  Sort of true.


Amyah:  This one is from my Grandma.

Soup:  This came from my maiden name.  One of my friends in Jr. High called me Peasoup and shortened it to Soup.

Pizza:  This is a given.  Most people mispronounce my maiden name and don't say Peezee, but Peck zuh, which I guess is like pizza to most children.

Easy Peczuh:  Hilarious considering my minimal dating history.  This would be like calling a tall fat man Tiny.

Ame or Ames:  This obviously comes straight from Amy shortened to one syllable for those of us that can't roll that second syllable off of our tongues.  I like these.

Maloo and Pooger:  From my dad.

Amarie: From my mama.  It combines my first and middle name.

Babe:  I am pretty partial to this one.

Mama:  My fave.

Day #18 Plans, Dreams, Goals

Plans:  Eat a lot of Chinese food.  Read a lot of books.  Love a lot of people.  Do a little good.  Be a great Momma.  Be an excellent wife.  Fight to the finish.

Dreams:  Getting a good nights sleep.  Eating food that is magically devoid of calories.  Learning to play the violin or the piano.  Writing something.  Taking a hot bath.  Reading a book that makes me laugh and cry.  Amazing vacations.  Abs and triceps.  Homeschooling.

Goals:  Finishing the yard.  Journaling.  Scripture reading.  Cleaning the kitchen counter.  Making my bedroom into an oasis.

Day #17 Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

I truly find myself hysterical sometimes.  I stalled on this challenge.  Too much pressure to preform. 

I struggle right now whether to be straight about my answer here or not.  There are lots of people that I wouldn't mind trying their life out for a day.  I could live with being rich, I could live with having toned glutes and abs.  Frankly I could live with being Max, which would mean drinking chocolate milk and hanging out naked all day.  I wouldn't even mind being the wife o' my crush of the day.  But if truth be told I would like to be someone.....and I don't even know who she is.......that has the energy to do it all; be a fantastic, sweet tempered mother, a smoking hot wife, a real Betty in the kitchen, the skill to bring all of my home decorating fantasies to fruition, the wherewithall to squeeze in some sort of intense jump training workout, and the baffling ability to be lead by the Spirit in all my doings....to know what it would be like to be able to do the right thing without feeling like every step I took wasn't happening underwater with weights around my extremities....to have peace in my home and in my heart, to not struggle with feeling like I am tempted beyond my capacity at every turn.  I don't know who this person is.....but I wouldn't mind being her for a day.  P.S. It would really be icing on the cake if she had great hair to boot.

Day #16

 

Day #16 another picture of myself.

This is me when I was about 6 I am guessing......along with my baby brother Jim and he is 3ish.  I was raised by pirates if you were wondering.

Day #15

Day #15 Ipod on shuffle and list the first 10 songs.....

1.  Prayer   by Bon Jovi
2.  It Don't Matter to The Sun   by Garth Brooks
3.  Cowboy  by Kid Rock
4.  Unbelieveable  by EMF
5.  Not That Different   by Collin Raye
6.  I Love To See The Temple  children's song book
7.  Is Your Mama Gonna Miss You   by Bryan Adams
8.  Cool Water   by Mary Robbins
9.  Please Don't Go Girl........eeep!  NKOTB
10.  Need You Now ...Lady A

Well that was uneventful........it didn't get anything new on there.  Strange, very strange indeed.

Day #14

Day #14 A picture of my family and I. 

Day #13

Day #13  A letter to someone that has hurt me recently.

Dear Bread Bowl,
     You crusty little sucker with your pious smirk.  Your insides are soft and delicious.  You hold things I greatly desire; chicken salad, creamy soups.  You tempt me despite the high caloric intake.  My weakness for you is repaid with your injurous crust slicing through my tender thumb.  You will live long enough to regret this....as I rip you piece by piece to feed to the birds off of the pier.
                                                                                      Ever,
                                                                                               A

Day #12

Day 12  How I found out about blogger and why I have one.   I found out about blogger from one of my non-pictured friends.  I have blogs 1) as a journal, 2) to make snide comments on, 3) to log what I read because I read so much that I forget what I have read.

Day 11

Day #11 Another picture of me and my friends.....
I suspect this challenge was meant for a high school kid.  I mean seriously, if you go by my number of friends based on the amount of pictures I have.......I have no friends.  I don't often stop to pose while I am talking mom shop.  So here is a picture.  A picture I should be ashamed that I am using. 

Day #10

Day #10 Songs I listen to when I'm happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad...

I'm like a music mutt....I listen to just about anything.  It's possible I might even have bad taste.
When I'm happy....I love the song Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.  This song actually covers just about every feeling. I also love songs I can dance to, songs I can sing.  Nickleback, Lady A, Katy Perry, hymns, broadway, Glee....
Sad......Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts, maybe some Hinder and Nickleback too, Evan and Jerron.
Bored.....everything, country, Christian (ya, I will totally listen to Christian Rock), pop, rock, the list goes on.
Hyped.....Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Bon Jovi, country, Britney
Mad......more Nickleback lol.

Day #9

Day #9 Something I am proud of in the last few days.

Monday Mads had her little eyeball gouged out at tumbling. Poor nugget had a bad afternoon being rush from doctor to specialist.   I am proud that I held her that night while she fell asleep.
Jack became sick at school.  I drove rather swiftly to his rescue and found him near breaking in the school office.  I am proud that I could be home to take care of him when he needed me.
Riley has felt of late that she is old enough to ride her bike down the street to the park.  I am proud of myself for giving her a cell phone with instructions to run screaming if anyone looks at her......and then letting her ride her bike out of the driveway.......
Max has been tired and had a stuffy nosy, and even though I needed to clean the house for the appraiser and pack for Disneyland, I made him choccy moomie and snuggled on the couch.  Yep, I'm proud of that too.

Day #8

Day #8 Short term goals for the months.  This is my kind of challenge:)  Three days left in the month make it much more likely that I can hammer this out.

1. Dispose of dead bodies.
2.  Make soup for Trunk or Treat.
3. Eat Chinese food.
4.  Launder every stitch of clothing not being worn or put away.
5.  Trick or Treat
6.  Halloween party
7.  Pack for 6 people for 7 days.
8.  Finish reading 'Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer'.
9.  Drive to Disneyland:)

Day #7

 

Day #7 A picture of someone or something that has had the biggest impact on you.

So what, I'm gonna break the rules.  I am naming at least 5.  This is my journal and this is how I want to journal it.

Ri is my first baby and that definitely impacted my life.  I will never be the same shallow person roaming the world without a point.  Having kids gave me much more focus, deeper understanding of life, and made me take the spiritual side of my life much less flippantly. Riley is my right hand.  She is a great sister and a good buddy for me. 

Jacks helped me understand boys better.  They need a lot more physical attention.  Jack was another limb on my body until he was about 4 years old.  Jack has a deeply sensitive side that I feel the urge to protect and yet I wish I could toughen him up so that he didn't feel so intensly.  I can see a lot of myself and my parents in Jack.  It's helped me to appreciate my mom and dad more.

Ah, my little piece of ham, my little Maddy Cat.  Before Miss M was born I had a blessing that said she would bring me so much joy.  Boy was that ever true.  She is funny, beautiful, and a screaming genius.  This kid has it all......except for the good eye sight.  I wish I could attribute all of the good parts of Mads to my fantastically honed mothering skills but this kid has taught herself everything; getting dressed, tying her shoes, riding a bike, putting on makeup, reading........this chicklet is the total package. 

I have never been more tired than when I look at this picture of Max.  Max is in constant motion.  He is his own law of physics.  He is sweet and sunny, mean and devious, and super funny.  He asks me all of the time if the cars he sees really transform.  Everytime I say that I don't think so and he answers in return that he does think so.  He's my little bitty baby.  The last of the greatest souls ever sent this way.

That's my guy:)  He's eating a Happy Meal shot.  That would be a complete Happy Meal blended together to make a tasty, vomit inducing treat.  He did it because I thought it would be funny and he likes to make me happy.  He spends a lot of time making me happy.  He impacts my life everyday.  He keeps me on the straight and narrow.  I would surely not be the person that I am (for good or bad) without his constant love and encouragement.  Frankly kids.......he's a stud.

Not pictured are my parents.  They have been fantasticly loving.  I think of how much patience my mom had when I was little and wonder why I didn't inherit any.  I see what an upstanding man my dad is and hope to ever be that smart and have that much integrity.  It has been the best thing in the world to see them as grandparents.  Watching them be happy because ALL of their awesome grandkids has really done my old heart good.

Last but not least, something I am pretty tight lipped about.  The thing that has impacted my life in a big way is my faith.  Ya, I actually have some.  Without the knowledge that I have of eternal concepts, I would be a quivering heap.  It helps center me to be able to see the big picture and know that everything and everyone I  love will go on.  I can mess up with every step I take and I'll still be okay.  I don't have to be perfect.  I can't be perfect.

Day #6

Day #6 My favorite super hero.

I seriously love Wonder Woman.  Great hair, snappy boots, small waiste.........and the ability to super jump and make people tell the truth. Ooo ooo, can't forget the ability to change clothes by spinning.   I spent hours pretending to be Wonder Woman when I was little.  I once made a bionic jump from my bed with such power that I drove my knee into my nose and rendered myself bloody and helpless for an afternoon.  I sometimes contemplate purchasing an outfit like that and wearing it all day.  I think it would really give me the drive I need to finish the laundry.  I pretty much covet her rope of truth.  I would love to take people out to an old wooden shack and tie them up and ask them all sorts of questions.  Bahaha......the power!

Day #5

Day #5 A picture of a place I've been......
Obviously I don't get out much.  This is a picture of Buffalo Bill's in Nevada.  We stopped there on our previous trips to Disneyland.  This would be the buffalo shaped pool and also Jack's favorite part of the trip.  Yep, that's right.  I forked out a couple grand and this is what my kid liked.

Day #4

A Habit I Wish I Didn't Have.......

I'm sure I've spoken of it before, but he actual diagnosis is Horizontal Stacking Disorder with a side of Cleaning Imposed Attention Deficit.....
I love clean counter tops with a bowl of fruit and vintage canisters, but I don't have them.  I love a clean and stylish night stand with a mod lamp and my cool jewelry stand, but I don't have one.  I adore a clean dresser top with a picture of my Nuggets, but I don't have that either. 
Instead I have counter tops covered with homework and tons of little kid art and recipes.  My night stand is covered in scriptures, a dictionary, a mammoth load of books.  And my dresser is covered in Max's movies and loose change.
In theory I can clean all of those things but going from beginning to end is exhausting.  I get so sidetracked by wanting to put EVERYTHING away at one time that it gets nutty. I run from room to room and in every room find something new to clean. 
So I just live with the bad habit.

Day #3

A picture of me and my friends.  My girl Jodi.  My sista Joey.  My friend Heather.  This is the best I could do in the picture department.  Cabo Wabo in Vegas, with food to die for and friends too.  The lady that took our picture kept telling us we had great skin.  I guess I can live with that.

Day #2

Day #2
The blog name.......
It's madness at our house 24-7.  Everyone has their very own distinct personality and everyone is VERY different from everyone else.  In the morning Ri likes to get up early and take the bus.  Jack and Mads have to be dragged from bed and forced to go to school.  Max would rather be cuddling with a blanket and some chocolate milk.  Daddy will normally get up in time to slap on the Kevlar and disappear for about 15 hours.  I might get up early or I might need to be woken up by Ri. 
After school Mads will do tumbling and want to play the piano, read, and play with her friends.  Jack will do anything under the sun to put off homework and chores.  He would rather be playing in the dirt, riding the 4 wheeler or playing with neighborhood friends and dogs.  He doesn't like piano or scouts.  Riles immediately finishes homework, does a chore and is off to ride bikes, play basketball or cook something.  She has lots of friends that live near us and she would be out with then until bedtime if she could.  She has piano lessons and singing, no longer has any use for tumbling, and has a good time at Activity Days (mostly because I am there and I am awesome).  Max wishes he was 8 so he could do what everyone else does.  He thinks all of his brother's and sisters' friends are his.  He loves to dig in the dirt and make lakes and rivers for his plastic dogs and cattle.  He always wants to be on the 4 wheeler.  He has a terrifically hideous break down most afternoons because he is tired but won't nap.  He also is pretty good at helping make dinner.  He really picked up on a lot of household chores because he wouldn't let me put him down for the first 2 years of his life.  Daddy pops in and out, usually for long enough to stir up the kids and then he's back to work. 
Dinner is nuts.  At least 3 of the kids fight over praying.  Max will generally contaminate Mads food so that she needs a new plate. 
No one wants to go to bed even though everyone is really tired.  It is a lot like trying to grab scattering marbles.  There is lots of running around wet and naked having lotion fights.  Everyone wants a different story.  Max wants to be held.  Mads needs her bedtime ritual.  Ri will read for at least an hour.  Jack needs to be hunted like an animal because you can always count on finding him......not in bed.
By 5ish I am mentally shutting down from exhaustion.  If the Dad is around I turn into a zombie and mentally check out.  That's not very often though.  Usually I am not hitting the sheets until late and then I HAVE to read just so that I can do something I like for awhile. 
It's pure madness.  Lots of noise and excitement and movement.  Even though it makes me tired and question my sanity......I love it.  I love it.  I. LOVE. IT!

I Am Original/ Day 1

Straight off.......I totally hacked this idea from another blog.  I might be original in technical terms, but my ideas aren't. 
The plan is to follow this little formula in order to boost my blogging.  I am sure it will take me more than the alloted 30 days.

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- a letter to your parents
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song

15 Interesting Facts.......(I know, repetative.....like I haven't done this before).
1.  I hate repetative sounds.  Don't make them around me.
2.  I love it when Max gets tired and follows me around trying to get his hand up my shirt.  Skin to skin contact is very reassuring.
3.  My current obsession is the TLC show Sister Wives.  Like a terrible, terrible accident...I cannot look away.
4.  I carry a book everywhere I go, just like a woobie.  It is my security blanket.  It helps me disengage from the pulic at large and if someone really wants to talk to me, they can talk about my book.
5.  When I was pregnant with Riley I ate only chocolate Pull n' Peels, Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes, and drank Sunny Delight.  Imagine if I had eaten properly what a genius should would be.
6.  I like my kitchen sink clean and void of dishes.  I hate doing dishes though.
7.  I religiously ate either grilled cheese or tuna sandwiches for dinner nearly every night between the ages of 9 and 14.
8.  I worry that when the world ends I won't be home and I will have no way to get to my kids.
9.  I love Halloween.  I love to dress up and be someone totally different from myself.
10.  I had 2 pet rats.
11.  I am stoked to hit Disneyland with my nuggets and my parents.
12.  I was ready for Jason to propose in August and get married in December.  He didn't pop the question until December.
13.  When people ask what I would do different about my wedding......I would have eloped over Christmas break.
14.  Junior Mints are where it's at baby.
15.  I feel like Jack's emotional twin and I hate making him do things he doesn't want to do.....because I wouldn't want to do them either.

Back to School

Stopping the new school year was like trying to stop a hurricane.  I tried my best but the wind and rain came and so did September:(

As you can see, Miss Mad is pretty happy.  This was not her real first day.  She only had testing for placement.  But she has been waiting nearly 6 years (no preschool even!) and going in for testing was good enough.  Mads ended up in the classroom next door to her bestie, which was a sad day.  She is usually excited and enjoying herself.  She went in reading so she has had a lot of reading homework.  On the days she hasn't had enough sleep she is kind enough to tell me I was right when I told her she would be better off being homeschooled.

My dear boy......go ahead and look again at his face.  Jack does not enjoy leaving home.  He would rather be here with Mama and Max, herding his cows on the ranches he creates all over the house and yard, complete with watering holes and cattle guards.  He is terribly bright and popular, and once he gets to school things go smoothly.  But making the break from home is heart breaking.  I think 3rd grade is going to be his year.  His personal goal is to go to school happy....ish, and without resistance.  If that happens, every month he can choose one day to stay home. 

Lovely Ri Ri.  Fifth grade.  I just gagged a little.  Riles is the one child that does not want to be homeschooled.  She has lots of friends, sets her own physical and educational goals, and loves sports at recess.  This year instead of joint ruining gymnastics, she is taking piano, basketball, and more baseball.

Max, Max, Max.  When people ask him if he is going to school this year he says, "No, I not big enough."  For better or worse he might be my last and I am indulging myself by keeping him home.  Since his birthday is close to the cut off, he will be going nearly a full year before his sisters did.  Then he's gone forever. 

I used to think that if you were an involved parent, public school was a viable option.  I am seriously beginning to rethink that.  But that's another story.

Tuesdays With Maxy

Max has developed a new ritual.  Every Tuesday morning when the garbage truck comes, he likes to go sit on the cement in the drive way and watch the garbage being dumped at every house on the street.  When it's finally our turn, he claps like a wild man when the trash is emptied into the back of the truck.  Then he waves and waves at the driver.
*******
Knock on wood but Max is finally potty trained.  There weren't any tricks that worked.  Candy...nope.  Shooting a gun.....nope.  The promise of a new Transformer.....nope.  He just finally decided it was time and hasn't looked back. 
One day after he had been successfully using the potty for a few weeks he said that it was time for him to ride the potty train.  He said he could ride it alone and then decided he would rather invite his brother and sisters and me.  Jack cracked a smile....laughed and told Max that he was free Thursday.  Funny boys!
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Max loves to follow me around the house with plastic bugs and lizards hidden in his hands.  Then he will tell me that he has something for me and throw them at my face.  He thinks it is hilarious.....and he learned it from Ri.  She's good enough that I really believe she is going to throw a bug at me.  I always scream when Ri does it and that is the exact reaction I have to give Max too, to make him happy.
*******
Max can run the dishwasher and unload part of it.  He can also run the washer and dryer, put the clothes in and transfer them.  He isn't half bad at sweeping the floor and cleaning his room.  You would think if all of that were true, I would have a much easier job.  Some how it hasn't worked out that way yet.
********
When I asked Max what we were going to do all day with his Ri Ri and Dackie gone, he said,"Play Mario Cart."
*******
He's still just a baby though.  When he's getting tired and needs some snuggles, he shoves his hand right up my shirt and rubs my stomach.  The other night he was exhausted and had one hand under my shirt and the other clutching Woobie.  He kept shoving his hand against the underwire in my bra.  Finally he had enough and said,"What is undoo you shoot?"  I said, "My bra Max."   He said, "I can't get undoo it.  Why you weawing it?"   I said, "That's exactly why Max."

Pittsburgh Is Code For BORED!

        When left to my own devices.....no internet, no TV, no newspapers...I crumbled.  Superman was in Pittsburgh for one week and I couldn't take the stress of being left alone with my own thoughts.  I took up a shameful crime...er crafting spree.                                                                     

Exhibit A) Wreath

B) Riley's unfortunate jewelry box

C) One of two free lamps that got in my way....plus my cute little jewelry plate that Superman mocks.

D) Little flowers and old pictures.....awe:)

E) The bench and it's accompanying cushion


I also massacred a pillowcase dress, another wreath, a flowered headband, two chairs, and a body pillow with covers for Ri's bed....but since my crafting and picture taking are about equal in negativity, the pictures didn't  make it.

Max's 3rd Birthday

Max opted to spend his day of birth doing testosterone jello shots.  Dada, Dackie, and Coppa took old Maximus out for some four wheeling.  They rode some fun trails all day and stopped for dog food soup (bean and bacon....which in my book smells like a can of Alpo) and a celebratory brownie.  Only one near accident occured when Dada dismounted the four wheeler to open a gate, leaving Max to grab the gas, throttle the heck out of it, and speed off.

The day before the Max's big day, the whole family went to the Gateway.  The kids played in the Olympic Fountain while I melted into a puddle and Superman went looking for cold liquid.

*****************************

A Maxism:   A few days before his birthday, Max and I were having a cuddle on the bed.  He'd had enough resting and threw himself knees first into my lower back.  As I blinked back tears and let out wimpers of pain, he said, "Ifs you foe up, cops west you.  (Not a threat at this point....I wouldn't have minded being lead off in a patrol car to my own hard bunk.....with no children to beat me.)"  When I told him I didn't think I was going to throw up anymore he said, "Then you wanna buy new ouse (house)? Beeeooo (blue) or bown (brown)?"  He obviously knows my love of realestate.

It's All Fun And Games Until........

One day Ri and her very goodest friend Regan decided to paint each other's faces.  I don't happen to have a lot of face paint since I have up clowning.  So I pulled out an old tube of lipstick and figured that would do.  Not much later they show up with their faces completely 'Innsbruck Bronze'.   They had begun by only painting certain parts but succumbed to the pull of the lipstick.  The funniest part.......it wouldn't come off.  Soap and water wouldn't cut through it and I didn't want to burn their faces off with any adult facial cleaning products.  We even tried lotion.  We finally settled on some 'Clean and Clear' stuff and then I had to moisturize the heck out of their skin.  They still had sparkle around their hairline and in their EYEBROWS along with a healthy glow on their skin.

I understand the need to take things a little too far......once you start you just can't stop.  I found a razor in the bathtub when I was little.  I felt like I could really make myself into a true beauty.  I shaved some arm hair and then decided........to clean up the eyebrows.  A very short swipe of the razor later......I had no eyebrows.  Unfortunately it took more than a damp rag and powerful acne cleaner to restore me to my former self.  My mother wasn't as easily tricked as I had assumed and realized that there was something severely wrong when I wrapped a scarf around my forehead and assumed a pirate brogue.

I Love Me Some Superman

Last night we were out on the dance floor at my sister's wedding.  The dance was for couples.  Every now and then the D.J. would ask couples to leave the floor depending on how long they had been married.  Trooper Lance Armstrong and I made it to the last 4 couples.  We are either A)old  B) surrounded by divorcees or C) off our rockers for each other:)   I will admit to B&C.  The floor basically cleared by 5 years and the couples that beat us had been married for over 30 years. 

Our 14 year anniversary just rolled around while we were cruising the Alpine Slide in Park City and I was drooling over Bradley Cooper.  This is why we have been able to stick it out for 15 years.  Me Bob isn't oblivious to my black heart and deeply grooved personality flaws.........he just rolls with it.  He isn't a thrill seeker but he knew I would love to shoot down a dry ski slope on a wee sled.  He wanted to see the A Team, but I know he knew I was only going for Coop's shiny  white teeth and blue eyes.  He brings me flowers when I cry for a week like I'm Bella and Edward just went AWOL and I don't give sufficient explaination.  He runs with me at my pace when I know he could go much faster.  He shaves his head or lets his scruff grow because it makes me smile.  He texts me pictures of himself in a suit when I'm not there to see it for myself.  He lets my bedside table pile high with countless books and gives merely a shake of the head.  He endures Chinese food in amounts forbidden by the FDA. 

I don't know why he abides the cold blood that runs through my veins, but he's my man and I'm glad he does. 

I Can Do That

I have recently come down with the serious 'I can do that' virus.  I would show you all of my recent endeavors except I am too lazy I am too busy to take pictures and then download them.  It would help me if all of you would assume that I made something at least as lovely as the picture above.
My sweet baby sister is getting married in nary a month.  It has spurred me to begin stalking the blogs of many a creative woman.  I have found that with a good amount of E-6000 not only can you stick any two objects together......the fresh scent of rubber and solvent will musk up your home.  Nothing can say 'I'm crafty' any louder than that.
Recently I have permanently glued affixed various plates and candle sticks to make some lovely platters with varied heights.  My most very favoritest one is a robins egg blue plate stuck to a rusty metal fleur-de-leis.  I had such feelings of pride.  I felt like this piece really set off my love nest.  Topped with my most choice pieces of silver jewelry it became a fantastically handly place to chuck my earings/necklaces when removed.  I fairly beamed with unremitted pride.  Ah, as we all know pride comes quite heavily before the fall.  As I lay propped on my bed of flannel down stuffed silk, waiting for my beloved to kiss me good night......he walked by, took one look at my materpiece and snickered.....rather, snorted and refused to make eye contact.  When I asked WHAT could possibly make him laugh seeing as how I had not uttered a word, he said nothing.  But I saw his eyes wander back to my awe inspired piece of art.  I knew he was laughing at it.  I persisted to know what was so funny.  Finally, with damp eyes, he admitted that he thought that the stunning jewelry tray I had made, was infact quite handsome.  He continued though, with......"It's so nice but it's kind of silly to have it in here.  It's on an old dresser and look at your stacks of books everywhere.  That piece is too nice for this room."
Ha, well I take that as a challenge.  I shall make my room deserving of my astounding works of glass and epoxy!!!! Bahahah!

She's So Gluten Free........

Mads and I hangin'.  Ri went to a party and the boys are off hunting sheds.  Mads uber sparked my toes and she talked me into putting makeup on her.  Then we whipped out the goods for gluten free baking.  And of course, when you bake you must listen to club mixes cranked up nice n' loud 'Boom, Boom, Pow'! 

Christian Carriage and Frame

Owner.....Christian Carriage and Frame

(The red car......#39....kicked it......graciously.)

How I wish I could take credit for what you are about to read.......The real genius lies with Coppa as he succinctly covered the scathing results of the Helper Pinewood Derby.

HEADLINE NEWS


Shock & Awe was the term used to describe the resounding butt kicking handed down by Jackson Marshall and his Pinewood Derby car dubbed Marshall Madness here Tuesday evening.

Stained glass windows shook in their frames as fire trucks with water cannons were called out to quash the riot that erupted after the surprising victory by Jack and Marshall Madness.

Entire food storage caches and temple recommends were offered to the designer and builder , Christian Carriage and Frame, of Carbonville Utah, for plans and secrets used to create the victory car.

One observer stated that “It was the fastest thing to hit this cultural hall in a milenia”.

Rumors that MEHC was attempting a hostile takeover of the little known design and build firm were not verified. Warren Buffet was unavailable for comment.

I Belong To The Church Of Jesus Christ......

The boy was baptized.......March 6th 2010.  The program was short and sweet.  Riles was the only speaker and she was adorable and great.  I sniffled through a short testimony.  Tons of people showed up which was so appreciated.  Jack doesn't like a crowd.........and neither do I.......but to have the love of so many family memebers and friends was the best part of the day for all of us.  Jack was totally prepared.  He and Daddy jumped in the font like old pros.  Later we had lunch and the kids all ran around like wild baboons :)

Why do I laugh????

I have all of the nuggies in the car the other day toodling off on some errand and I hear this conversation, which cracked me up.......

Jack:  Hey Mom, I thought I just saw Isaac down in that trailer court bouncing a basket ball with his hand.
Mads:  Me too.
Jack:  Maddy you don't even know who Isaac is.
Mads:  Yes I do!
Jack: Okay Maddy.......how many arms did he have?  (this is very significant because Isaac only has one arm, also if any normal person were asked this question, they would then ask themselves why this would be significant to Jack and probably change their standard two arm answer.....nope)
Mads:  TWO!
Jack:  Maddy you don't know anything!  He does not!  He only has one.
Mads:  That's what I meant Jack....he has one arm........on each side!

This has seriously cracked me up for days.....
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Today I was a guest speaker in Relief Society and miracle of miracles, I did not go up in flame.  Probably God is waiting for me to finish with my mistake making so the fireball  will be awe inspiring........not the point though.  I was comparing myself to Jack.....super sensitive, not a real people person, not willing to try when things look daunting, shy, and not very willing to be creative because that is risking too much.....One of my very favorite people in my ward came up after and said....."When you started comparing yourself to one of your kids, I thought it would be Maddy.  She is so out there, such a people person, so beautiful and self confident."  Sadly I laughed that she had been snookered by my wily ways.  All Maddy got from me was quick wit and the inability to pick up her dirty laundry.  Her sweet spirit and extrovert personality came straight from her dadda.

Sledding

Haha......still haven't figured out how to layout the pics the way I want.

We took the nuggets sledding.  Since two of the bugs have pretty short legs we opted for the hills at the park by the college instead of the golf course.



It's the Marshall Love Train!  Choo Choo......

Riles on her snowboard.  She bought this little puppy herself.  She's getting pretty good and is a lot of fun to watch.

It snowed really hard while we were there.  It was so beautiful.....I wanted to stay there all day.

Da BOYEEES

                                      My beauty Ri.......ugh she is so gorgeous!

My itty bitty Piglet.  Mmm I could squish her.

The kids also had a snowball fight. Jason tricked Ri into going under a big pine tree.  Then he knocked all of the snow on her.  She was furious.  Mads thought it was the funniest thing and kept trying to get her dad under some tree branches.  Finally she told him she saw some money under a tree and he should come and dig in the snow for it.  Then she shook out the branches on him.  She said next time she will have a better trap laid with a loop of rope that she will snag him with.

I Shake My Head........

Mads:  Mom sometimes I say I love you when I don't want to.
Me: What?! (my usual response to most things Maddy says.)
Mads: Well I love you, I just don't want to say it.
Me: Why not?
Mads: Because.  I just have to force myself.  I have to force myself by thinking in my head 'Do it. Do it.'
Me:  Why don't you want to tell me you love me if you do love me?
Mads:  Because I just don't want to.  Sometimes I don't want to say it in front of my friends.
    I thought that wasn't supposed to happen until later:( 
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Mads:  Mom, I think I know what drama means.
Me: What Piglet?
Mads:  Poison.
(funny that she is sort of right...)

Jack meets a cougar

Cat in the tree behind Jack

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 Disclaimer Written by Jason

Ever since our bear hunting, hound tracking expedition this spring Jack has been looking forward to winter and the chance to track a cougar. He got his chance over Christmas break. It started with a 3:30 wakeup. It is amazing that a kid can't wake up for school at 7:30 but is awake and dressed in under 45 seconds at 3:30. I remember being his age and how excited I would get prior to hunting so it does not suprise me too much

We met up with "VOTE FOR GREG" in Emery county and drove up to Joes Valley. There we unloaded the snowmobiles and loaded the dogs up and away we went. Jack remembered his favorite dogs "Tank and "Nacho" from the spring bear hunt and he was excited to see them again.

It was dark and very cold and Jack was riding with someone he did not know. 30 minutes later with the rough trails, cold temperatures and holding onto the back of a stranger was just too much for the shy little guy and he started crying. But with a little pep talk and a hug my Superman in training pulled his little 7 year old self together and we went huntiing. It helped that "VOTE FOR GREG" felt bad and let me drive a snowmobile with Jack riding with me.

Nacho climbing and Tank hiding in the braches

 After cutting a cat track in the snow we turned the dogs loose. In a matter of minutes they had a cat treed. Jack was scared at first being so close to the cat. The cat was too small to shoot so we got to take a bunch of pictures. The cat would get bored and jump down from the tree and run a short distance with the dogs nipping at its tail and it would find another tree to climb. In no time Jack got more comfortable being around such a woderful wild animal

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He had a great time. I think his favorite part was when we pulled the dogs off of the tree and had to hold the dogs so they would not run off after the cat. He got some 1 on 1 time with "Nacho the tree climbing dog" My favorite part was the time that I got to spend with Jack together in the mountains. We got to do, see, smell, and hear new things. It's experiences like this that you will never forget

  

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JACK AND NACHO

THE VIEW