Sticky Fingers or.......A Superglue Tragedy

Here's the lowdown on the unfortunate events...................As I was dutifully making lunch for Mads and Max, I was sidetracked (how unusual) by fate. I saw two little pieces of Mads tea set that had broken handles. They had been lying on the counter waiting, waiting, waiting for my attention. So right in the middle of cutting mozarella, I stopped to seek out a tube of Superglue. I couldn't find one that was already open (huh, I wonder why???) so I found a brand spankin' new tube. It was in the laundry room, pantry, craft room, which tends to be the warmest room in the house. So there I stood with a warm, bloated tube of Superglue...............should I have stopped? Did I hear a wee whisper tell me to be Super careful? No, I'm not that kind of person. I don't recieve many whispers. Therefore, I puncture that fat little tube, and wouldn't you know it was just bursting to be punctured. Nearly the whole contents of the tube blurted forth and ran down my left hand. My hand, fully encased, quickly became immobile and rigid. I dropped the tube and it COVERED the countertop. Just like blood, a little tiny amount of Superglue sure looks like a heck of a lot. I'm nearly sure there was at least 1/2 a cup. Like a dolt I wipe it up with paper napkins. They are now permanently modge podged to the counter. So pretty. Then in an even bigger brainless act which I attribute to the dangerous fumes..............I pick up the tube. In the flit of a fairy wing.........I am reduced to a lobster. My fingers melded together and also stuck right to the nifty little tube. Good times, good, good times. Sorry about the blurry picture, I was using one hand, high on acetone and the baby was screaming from neglect and pulling my pants down to my knees. These are my fingers and the infamous tube, along with acetone soaked cotton balls. I have literally lost IQ points from the hour and a half of SERIOUS fume huffing.

Although it looks like I used wart remover to freeze the skin off of my hand..........it is a gallon of Superglue.

So tragic! So I run for the acetone and begin slaving away trying to pry my delicate lady skin off of its self and the tube. I finally can take no more agitation or the wretched screaming of neglected infants and call for the white knight. So, so strange..........assuming I may get an emergency response from an emergency responder I know help is on its way. I will no longer suffer alone, with only weeping children for comfort. Obviously the glue and acetone had already burned my 150 IQ down to a whopping 145. It took my love, my sweet sweet man, my prince, my helpmeet............an hour to come home. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Max chewed open all of the old tampons that haven't been seen or heard of for two years. Madison glories in the fact that I can't stop her from doing whatever she wants and dresses like the Sugar Plum Fairy to dance angelicly by, peppering me with questions about my 'accident'. As I near sweet freedom.......my fingers are seperate from eachother and I have only one left stuck to the tube.....what should appear, but Santa and 8 tiny reindeer...........not really. That devilish little tube is still leaking and as I use my fingers for leverage to get that last bit of attatched skin to rip off.................................I reglue myself to the tube. A good day only gettin' better. I start all over poisoning myself with the acetone fumes and pull, pull, picking at the glue and skin. No joke, no joke at all I tell you, the very moment I finally get the friggin tube off of my hand and my fingers apart............in walks Trooper Marshall. At that point my pants have been pulled down to my ankles from the hysteric baby (he missed lunch, and nap and hasn't been held for an hour and a half). The unconsolable soul is hanging on to the bottom of my pioneer panties, chewing a tampon and slobbering like there's no tomorrow. Mads has pranced and danced her pretty self around the house pulling out a library of children's books, toys, laundry and using the phone to chit chat while I can't take it away from her. Moral of the story..........Superglue is a satanic device.

.........Years Ago

20 Years Ago........
1. I was just starting 7th grade. I had a nasty perm and chipmunk cheeks.
2. I met one of my best friends in middle school.........Becky.
3. My family went to Disneyland.
4. I got contacts.
5. I got my braces off.
6. I had a brief stint of activity in church beginning here and lasting through Jr. high and my 1st year of highschool. After an ugly spat with a friend I was too embarassed to return until the year before I got married.

10 Years Ago........
1. I had been married for two years.
2. We lived in SLC in the 'fish bowl' right off of the U campus.
3. We were Primary teachers for the WHOLE student ward Primary. We hated it. We were nearly the ONLY people without kids or pregnant.
4. I was attending the University of Utah and working at CBTU (Children's Behavior Therapy Unit)
5. We moved to Orem and I transfered to the Alpine School Dist. I loved this job and met some awesome people that I love to this day.

5 Years Ago.....
1. We lived in the same house we recently moved back into (It's like a black hole I tell you!!)
2. Riley was 3 and Jack was 1.
3. We had just begun builing our first house (which we did not end up buying).
4. I had just stopped going to Utah State University to dedicate ALL of my time and rockin talents to the kids.
5. I think this is the year Jason graduated Suma Cum Laude with his B.S.
6. I bought the sport van.
7. I was serving in Young Womens. Fun stuff.

3 Years Ago.....
1. Mads was not yet one. We had lived in our AWESOME real house that we had just renovated.
2. I was the Primary Secretary.
3. Jason was living and working in SLC. And our house was for sale :( (Happy ending, he moved back 7 months later, we didn't sell the house and as soon as the ward found out we were staying I became the Primary Ring Master)
4. Riley had just started Kindergarten. Oh, the beginning of the end.

1 Year Ago........
1. Max was just born!!! Yeah for Max.
2. We just decided to try building a house again and sold the house we were living in.
3. I was the Regional Literacy Chair for Regional PTA and had just completed putting on a literacy conference.........where I worked with WONDERFUL people.
4. We moved into a rental across town.
5. Riley started 2nd grade and Jack went to Kindergarten.
6. I quit PTA.

This Year So Far............
1. The new house it closer to complete everyday!
2. I was released from ward Primary and put in the stake.
3. We moved from our floody, leaky rental to our old black hole (which I love) and have been driving to and from everything ever since.
4. We have spent a lot of time with friends this year.
5. I have had 2 yard sales.
6. I agreed to be on the library board.
7. Disneyland here we come!!!!

Yesterday........
1. We went to the temple.
2. We bought tile for the house.
3. We did a lot of homework.
4. We had FHE and learned a song and played a game.
5. We read the second Fablehaven.
6. Jason started another job. (He hasn't given up any of the other ones........he just gains them.)

Today.........
1. Bathed children.
2. Bought Madison's birthday present 3 months early.
3. Laundry
4. Let Mads do my hair.
5. Read Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card.
6. Will be picking up the kids, doing more homework, stopping at the library for more books!!

Next Year........
1. Living in new house.
2. Going to a new ward.
3. Saving money to go on fun trips.
4. Paying off 1/5 of my mortgage!!!!! Yeah!
5. Kissing my love monkies everyday and hanging out with my man.

All Summer Long.........The Abridged Version

I'm trying to journal this summer in a nutshell. We had a great time and wish it could have lasted so much longer. Summer started out cool and rainy.........Yum. We love the rain.

We braved the pool this again this year, choosing not to learn from our mistakes. Happy days....lots of playing shark but no CRYPTO!!! There is nothing like 3 weeks of stomach cramps plus the runs to make you afraid of the water.

Jack and Mad played coach pitch. I really think Mads did it to get the snacks at the end of the game.

Max and Mad washing all of our play food and dishes. Wouldn't it be swell if they did the REAL dishes?

We made tons of progress on the house over the summer; stucco, stone, drywall, texture, paint, doors, cement. We are now getting ready to order the kitchen and bathroom cabinets and put in the tile floors.

Jack and Mads took Coppa fishing for Father's Day. They had a ton of fun and even stopped on the island in the lake to eat lunch and explore. We also had fun fishing and camping (I have no idea what happened to the pictures).

Max turned one in July. He had the tasties Horsey cake and made a fantastic mess. We partied with all of our loved ones. Handsome Schmandsome!

As soon as the party ended we headed up to a Bees game. We sat right at Home Plate. The kids got batting helmets and autographs from Bumble. Max and I were sicker than dogs with really high fevers, but we still managed to have fun. I don't want to say that I enjoy having my baby sick, but I'm not sure if he were in tip top shape, that we would have made it through the whole game. Right after we headed to our home away from home and partied the rest of the weekend away with family and a baby blessing.

Kangaroo Zoo. Yes, we were evil enough to let him go down this long slide alone. He was mortified.

One of 16 doggie pee stains on my NEW subfloor and walls. Yum. Too bad I wanted to be a doctor, not a vet when I grow up. I prefer human to animal ANYTHING any day. Oh wait, I did find human pee in there too. Lesson: Don't touch full soda bottles left around your sewerless construction site. Don't leave any entrances unguarded when there are 42 mangy mutts in the neighborhood vying for territory.

Max and Mads hit the trails. Max loves to ride in all of our motorized toys. He begs to go out and ride around. We did find that he doesn't like the REAL ones though. Too loud.

We also did mongo loads of laundry. The kids really get sick of the daily grind. The always want to have events happening. Why take time off to do chores when you can swim, go to the park, do crafts, travel.....................clean clothes are over rated in a childs mind.

We made various jams and syrups this year. We also tried out new tasty dinner recipes. The kids love to cook. Max is always ready to help with dishes after. He loves to sit on his Pirate Parrot perch (aka my left arm) and kick his feet in the dish water.

Kids Day at the Fairgrounds Mads and Ri tried the climbing wall. It was at that moment my camera battery died. All of the kids fished (they were the only ones there catching walleye), got BACA tattoos, looked at farm animals and bounced on all of the bouncy houses.

Makeup!! Oh how we love to do hair and makeup. I saved you the pain of seeing what I looked like after my makeover. It was something akin to a streetwalker in a morgue.

First Day of School 08'

Ahh.........the first day of school arrived and passed. I could hardly bear to see them go. I loved summer and it went by far too quickly. So many things we wanted to do and didn't get done. Riley and Jack both have wonderful teachers this year. They are enjoying 1st and 3rd grade.
It's so much quieter at home now. Riley actually said she was looking forward to school so that she didn't have to watch Max while I showered. I told her she would regret that as soon as I stopped showering and started to smell. Jack's first day of 1st grade. This was right after I begged him not to leave me and I teared up. He doesn't cater to that kind of display so he is trying to get away.

My beautiful 3rd grader. I told her I wanted a picture so I could compare it to the end of the year and see how much she has grown by then. It is heart breaking. I am so proud of them and how great they are and how smart they are, but I die a little every time I see them changing. I want them to be my little babies that I can kiss and cuddle all day. Soon enough they will 'think' they are smarter than me and they will be embarassed to be with me in public........................Tough cookies kids, I hate to tell you I'm a genius and outrageously cool, which you will eventually figure out.

Summer by the Lake Swimsuit GIVEAWAY!!!!

Summer by the Lake Swimsuit GIVEAWAY!!!!





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FYI

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JUST IN CASE ANY OF YOU WERE WONDERING HOW MEATY I AM.........NOW YOU KNOW.

A Day in the Life of a Hungarian Princess

Frankly people, I am too lazy to download my pictures right now so this is all you get. Yesterday as I was trying to dislodge a glob of poop from Max's right hand, while poop oozed out of his bottom, I thought to myself, "Self, if Grandma had never fled the old country, you would be eating bread and jam on fine china with an adorable Croatian man fanning your flowing locks." (Run on sentence, I know, don't point it out.) I had been sorting laundry because it had finally crept into the kitchen. And as a true multitasker, I was also running water for dishes, and sucking down the breakfast of champions.............skim chocolate milk. Max had just eaten breakfast and I thought I would let him crawl around sans diaper, in order to let his soft nether regions air out, and avoid diaper rash. I saw him crawl by chasing a piece of cat food. I shoved more whites into the washer. I looked again as the piece of cat food rolled by. Max sat there on a lump of dukey. Adorable as it was I grabbed him.............and he put his foot right in the pile and slid it around on the floor. A good spray down, some Johnson and Johnson, and a froo froo later, he was back to Max. I still had to tackle the looming piles of laundry and dishes while the kids whined that all we ever do is clean.
Once all of the midgets were fed, combed, dressed and had finished minimal chores with maximum protest, we fled the scene. Goose and Coppa had gone camping and we encroached upon their living space in order to spread out a little bit. The girls ran through the sprinklers, Jack did some very manly things like build a fence, throw some dirt, buck around. Finally time for lunch. Everyone wanted something different...................45 minutes and no food for me.
Max napped and I made dessert for Family Home Evening. Hey, did you know you can make your own sweetened condensed milk? You can, and it is cheap and yummy.
Max and I then made raspberry syrup from raspberries on the verge of death. So tasty! Max came away with some violent purple stains.
Dinner!! Everyone wanted something different.............. I stood by the microwave and reheated every leftover I could find. I didn't get to eat again. I was really feeling like I could identify with the mother on 'The Christmas Story."
Time for FHE group. We packed up dessert, balls, mitts and bats. Everyone peed. We made it only 15 minutes late. I think thats called on time.
We had an awesome evening with our great group of friends.
As I reflected on the day, I guess I am grateful not to be a Hungarian Princess after all. I am glad that I get to spend every waking minute doing things for my love nuggets. Sure I get stressed and want to cry when it looks like we dumped out all of the toys and clothing that we own......... and that's after we have cleaned. Frankly it's funny to see poop ooze from your infants bottom. The kitchen floor need to be mopped anyway. I wouldn't trade a minute of being a princess for all of the other things....................Max crawling like a spider monkey on speed, Madison dressing up like Cinderella and giving me lectures about her overwhelmingly high IQ, Riley turning into a lovely, wonderful, humble, beautiful girl, Jack's tenderness, his wild hair, his shaved head, his beautiful doe eyes and desperately handsome smiles. Their little bread dough necks, so tender to kiss. The way they say ' Mama' until you could scream. They change every second of every minute and I would never give up the gift of seeing that.
My husband is certainly no Croatian, thank goodness, I don't think I could deal with the black 'leg' hair( though he is mad hot) and my hair doesn't flow anymore (clips really cut down on the bathroom time) .........who likes freaking bread and jam anyway?