Housekeeping Monthly in May 1955 says............

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands hand faces if they are small, comb their hair and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little
treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer,
dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late
for dinner. Count this as minor compared to with what he might have gone through that
day.
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie
down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and
offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to
relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival
is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to
other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure,
his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: To make your home a place of peace and order, where your husband can
can relax.

Would I.......could I........ I am not at all making fun of this. I actually wish it were more like this. On the eve of another week of training (ie.......home without protection from the children) I am wishing to time travel to the 1950's. I could wear the cutest dresses!!! heels, bows in my hair and my Superman would be home at 5:00 pm sharp.

The real deal is more like this.....
1. Dinner will be made and eaten long before he arrives. Even if there are any left overs he will refuse to eat them, turning to the box of Captain Crunch. The children will lament the empty box in the morning. Crying with dismay as I screech at them to move faster.

2. I am prepared for his arrival by either being out of the house with after school activities while he is changing uniforms to head out the door again.......or I will be unconscious with a bobby pin in my bangs and my favorite cowboy pajamas on. Most likely I will be drooling on the sheets or asleep in a book. His day may or may not have been boring.......18 hour drive or a bloody wreck. I may not know for days.

3. The clutter will be right were I left it when I drug off to bed. The homework will be on the counter, the puzzles on the kitchen table. My ADD has equipped me to begin putting the laundry away but not to finish.....therefore there will be a stack of clothes covering the couch.

4. The children will be prepared and asleep. Dandy, if only I were awake.

5. If he comes home in the dead of night, the noise will be only the fans giving us the breeze to take us through a good night. If he arrives during dinner I will be unable to quell the onslaught of "DADDY! DADDY! I did a back handspring and *blank's* dad got drunk while they were camping. Maddy threw all of her Care bears down the stairs. Popcorn, popcorn! Can I ride the four wheeler?" These are all shouted at once. And probably because they haven't seen Daddy for two days.

6. If I am awake I will try not to greet him with complaints.......the sheer volume of my screams and profuse weeping might give me away though. I have compassion over the fact that he had to clean up brains, change a tire on the freeway with semis speeding by, and kick someone out of college for drugs and alcohol.

7. How I would love to make him comfortable. Most likely he will have time to enter the closet and emerge in other work clothes. If I am lucky we will pass in the bathroom. I cannot give comfort. Next time I will leave a note, "Dr. Pepper is in the fridge and super size box of popcorn is on the shelf. Love you babe."

8. I do however listen. He will say where he is off to and his expected time or re-arrival. This, will be a gross miscalculation.

9. Make the evening his.........I sure will. He will be all alone at work without the decibels high enough to render one permanently deaf. He will be without food, hugs, kisses, homework, tumbling or snuggling, but the evening will belong to him. The day of strain and pressure will seep eerily into the night, with no one to mark it but himself.

10. Well, he sleeps well when he gets there, so I have to assume he feels peaceful enough.

This was not a complaint. The realities of a new century are stark. I am going to buy an A line skirt, an apron, some heals and a steak. I will meet this goal yet.