Facebook is Satan's Handtool or........High School Sucked, That's Why I Left

I'll outright admit that I am a Facebook addict. I'm not proud.....just like I probably wouldn't be proud to admit I was a meth addict. Nevertheless, the truth. FB has it's good points. It's easy to get updates on your pals........and you don't have to do it by phone (another gimmick used by the horned one to aggravate my life.) Keep up with the chicks from out of the area. Honestly.....a great spy tool. Look up those people you just want to see what's up, but you don't want to SEE.

The downside is that FB smacks of high school, better known as the worst time of ones life, whether you want to admit it or not. You probably weren't at your best in high school. If you think that you were.......I'm really sorry for the life you have lead since then. FB kills off all of the flowers of high school such as math, biology, and English and leaves the weeds; drill team, pep rallies, the hallways, the bathrooms, cone ball, classes taught by coaches, pot between class. You know what I mean.

As with any addiction, copping to the problem is the first step. But until I am only getting out of bed to check FB or cruising the streets with my air card looking for an unprotected connection....I'm still using. Pathetic. Maybe when my teeth start to fall out I'll learn my lesson.

Innie In An Outie World

Well I'm here to establish myself as an innie in a world of outies. Yes my belly button is inverted but that's not so much what I mean. I have an introverted personality. This is not news to me but it may be t0 you. I have never felt weird or different or like there is something wrong with me although I have been called stuck up, distant, quiet, shy, rude, conceited, indifferent, the list goes on.
I just picked up a book that has been recommended to me various times. It's about introverted personalities and their difference from extroversion. Extroversion is the most common personality 3 to 1. Most of the world is geared towards extroversion.
Jason always says that I hate people. In fact I have probably said the same thing. What is really hate is groups of people. I can tolerate a few very close friends (like 2) and still feel comfortable. After the group spills over about three people I get anxious and quiet and stop talking. Apparently this doesn't sit well with the extroverts.
Introversion versus extroversion has more to do with how each of us regains our energy. Extroverts like to socialize and do exciting things, go out with lots of friends, be with people most of their down time. They expend energy. Introverts need to recharge with alone time, quiet time or time spent with a select few. They conserve energy.
I laughed my way through the book because even though I feel normal and I like my personality trait, I didn't realize that there were many others that felt the same way. I took the quiz, along with Jack, Jason and Mads. I am an extreme introvert. The only extrovert tendencies that I scored were testing well, and I don't blank out too often when speaking. Jack is an extreme introvert. Jason is an extreme extrovert (he gets all of his people time teaching, traveling the state, playing ball, and at work). Mads is also an extreme extrovert. She would love to have groups of people at our house all of the time. She is unfazed by social conversation and chit chat.
Besides introversion I am also left brained, shy, and sensitive. I know many people think shy and introvert mean the same thing but they don't. There are shy extroverts (too bad for them!). Shyness has more to do with you thinking about other people thinking negatively about you. Sensitivity runs a large gamut.....sound, light, noise, movement, smell, intuition, emotion, weather, temperature.
Also sometimes my short term memory is blitzed if I am nervous when hearing something but I have great long term memory and can remember being as young as 1 year old. My testing is not too bad such as multiple choice or essay (many introverts have short term memory issues because of being overwhelmed and have problems with multiple choice testing) because I can usually recall things that I see.....somewhat photographic memory.
I am protective of my quality and quantity time with loved ones. I prefer to be with just one or two friends having meaningful time or conversation. I am Nazi about my alone time with Jason. I do not like it interrupted or sacrificed to other things. I love time spent with just my family. By the end of the day or when I feel incredibly taxed by external events I need to be alone or with just one person. I usually find myself taking a lot of baths and ripping through books when I am highly anxious. It is the way I zone out.
I think many people could probably recognize that I may have introverted tendencies. Lots of people don't believe me when I say that I am shy. And I don't think that I am seen as sensitive. I have learned fairly well in the last 13 years to live in an extrovert world. I can act like an extrovert if I have to, I just don't FEEL like one. I can teach a group, run a convention, be the boss, talk on the phone, go to large gathering. I may get grouchy after a prolonged time though because feeling anxious will eventually lead to that. I keep my sensitivity to myself because as an introvert I do not like being emotional or sharing intuition with many.
So if you find me curled up with a book, not making idle chit chat, or curled up with a book.....I still like you, but you might have to approach first.
My Innie tendencies!.........................
*When I need rest I like time alone or with one or two people. No groups!
* People think I am quiet, aloof, stuck up .......etc .
* I like to share special occasions with one person or a few close friends. No big parties!
* I notice detail.
* I can feel tension between others easily.
* If I say I will do something I will do it. (I thought more people were like this! I was surprised to find out that they aren't.)
* I feel anxious about deadlines or upcoming events. I lose sleep easily.
* I want to go away and zone out when I am overwhelmed.
* I like to watch activities before I join. I have to scope everything out and will generally stand back unless invited. I will almost NEVER invite myself or join without recognition from the group.
* I form lasting relationships.......but with only a few people. I have an easy time letting go of friends or acquaintances that don't take time to understand or like my personality. Because I am sensitive I take it pretty hard but I don 't chase down interaction......probably appears that I am aloof and don't care. In fact I've had that mentioned to me, but I just read a book and it gets all better :)
* I don't like interrupting. This has a lot to do with why I will not make idle social calls (drop by) and why I hate calling people on the telephone.
* I do not like overstimulating environments. I don't like going out on holidays where many others are out. I do not like crowded theaters where you have to sit next to others you don't know. I do not like large parties or dances. Do I go to these things? Yes. I don't like anticipating them but once I am there I'm okay for awhile....especially if I have someone to hang on to.
*I have strong reactions to smell, taste, weather, light, movement.......
* I feel drained after social situations even when I really enjoyed them.
* I prefer to be introduced instead of introducing (one of my rude behaviors.....I will almost never introduce.)
* I am grouchy in anticipation of a social event, even ones I want to attend. It drives my family......Jason, crazy.
* I like people in my home but am overwhelmed by numbers and extensive time.
* I HATE making telephone calls.......still do it, getting better, still HATE it.
* I will not show my work or ideas until fully formulated much of the time. Uber perfectionism is a huge downfall of mine.......and I expect the same thing from others.......bad, bad, bad.

I wish this post were either cute or funny, but it isn't. I have really enjoyed the book though. I wasn't surprised about what I learned.......I was surprised other people felt the same way. So do yourself if you are introvert, or someone else who is, a favor.....read The Introvert Advantage How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olson Laney Psy.D.
If I were an extrovert parent with an introvert child I would definitely read this before another day passed........you'll be doing them a great service if you understand they can't be like you and they are not unhappy because of their introversion.

Awesome innies.......Einstein, Lincoln, Julia Roberts, Hitchcock, Edison, Piglet.

Are you an innie or an outie?

A Princess and a Pony

Jack's friend decided to bring her horse over so that he could go riding with her. In true Jack fashion, he declined once the horse arrived. Riley also would not mount the horse because she doesn't like to feel it's shoulders move (?). Max was excited until the horse whinnied, then he screamed like a girl and had to go in the house. We were only able to move by very small increments toward the horse after that. BUT Mads on the other hand, stepped right up and took her place as the rightful princess of the horse. She was ready in her Sleeping Beauty riding habit to make her neighborhood debut. She rode up and down the street as the horse whinnied and nickered. Unfazed by the noise or the parade of dogs, she trip tropped with her new fur lined crocs poking forward, as her legs are a hair short. Mads, you are a freaking riot girl! I love you.

How Could I Have Been Surprised?

I really try not to publicize my opinions on this blog. I try to protect myself from conspiracy, weapon removal, person of interest, or a dirty background should I a) adopt or b) run for political office. But this time I can't contain myself.

There I was...........sitting in a hotel room glued to the flat screen. Since our recent T.V. diet, consisting of ......no T.V.......once we were in front of one, we couldn't pull ourselves away. We were watching House Hunters, waiting for Max to finally plunge sleepward. I love House Hunters, and it was pretty late at night so I didn't have a big selection. Having already had a heavy dose of The Soup, I was sated and just staring ahead. Now commercial wise I know there is some garbage out there when you hit late night viewing. But considering that I was only watching HGTV, not something baseless and nasty like CNN, E, or the Comedy channel, where I know they are corrupt and lacking moral judgement.......I felt safe.

I won't give the name of the heap of dung I saw......free advertising passed out among my staunch million readers.....just wouldn't be right. I'm pondering the age old question whether the family on T.V. should go for the farm house with lots of land and large house that needs updating or the move in ready at the top of their budget. I vote for the move in ready. The melamine kitchen in the farmhouse it going to cost a pretty penny to replace. Time to cut to a commercial. HGTV really knows how to leave you hanging. No wonder I am an addict. The commercial has a couple at dinner. He is ignoring her, texting, not talking, being boring and self centered. I'm thinking that this is a blind date. Then the guy gets up to leave and we find out that the couple is married. The words to the website you are supposed to look at comes up and there is a wedding ring rolling around in the words. Then I think maybe it was a really bad jewelry commercial.....like he should make up to her that he is a dolt, with a nice piece of bling. Superman and I look at each other and wonder what we just saw. So Superman with his many talents, whips out the laptop. Soon he is laughing. I still think it was a really cruddy jewelry commercial. Nope. It was a commercial for adultery. If you are stuck in a marriage and divorce isn't an option, you can still find your soul mate to cheat with. Just tap your keypad, put in your criteria and if you don't have a hot fling to your satisfaction......money back.

There are so many things I could say...........but I will just leave it at that.

Save yourself........RUN!

If you are anything like me, I suspect even if you don't want to be ..........you are, you have played out little scenarios in your head. What if we were carjacked.......what would I do? What if there were a fire, tornado, earthquake, hazardous waste spill.......what would I do? When I say what would I do, as a mother, I mean what would I do to protect the love nuggets. And yes I have thought of these things, so I felt fairly prepared in my head.

Yesterday my capability and devotion were truly put to the test.......and I may have failed. I'm not sure if was the age of the battery, the fact that I was holding a 'Presidency Meeting' in the parking lot while Madison touched every button and light, or the fact that as I waited for Ri and Jack in the school parking lot....I turned off the car and left the radio on so that Mads could sing to Alison Krause and work up a good cry. Either way, the battery was confirmed dead when I tried to leave school.

Jason was home, but he was working so hard I didn't want to interupt. I know how to jump the battery, I just had to find a willing participant. I called one of my best friends thinking she would still be in the same parkinglot that I was. She hurried over. Strangely her battery was under her back seat. We get all set up. We hook up the cables properly. I stretch the cables over to her car and find that I am just a hair short. So, not wanting to have live wires dangling we unhook and find her cables, which are longer. This time we hook up feeling like old pros! I get in her back seat and put on one pincer. Sparks! Flame! Combustion! I question the validity of this........I'm sure that shouldn't happen. Do I stop? NO! I put the other pincer on......more sparks. I back out of the car and stand next to mine. We see smoke coming from the batteries. My friend and I book it away from the car and scream for the only male within hearing distance to save us. We do not take the cables off. We do not remove the children from the car which is smoking. We flap our hands and squeal.

The 'Man' comes over. The cables are hot. There is still smoke. He takes the cables off of the batteries. Even the lines are hot. He throws them to the ground. We find out that both of our batteries are now dead.

Finally the 'Man' fixes everything while we try to make excuses for our little mistake. As the smoke clears we realize that we left the children in a car that we could have blown up. I have no shame in attaching the cables to the wrong charges.....whatever....I do have intense shame over leaving the kids sitting there staring out of the windshield while I flap my hands and remove MYSELF from harm. I know.......maybe there was no threat of them blowing sky high.....but still, I always thought I would save them first.

The Riz.......

Rizzo was in the school talent show. She was adorable and awesome. She and her friend Cade danced to some 50's rock. There is great video........which I can't figure out how to convert to something this computer wants to read.

Shake it!

My Riz.......

Diarrhea Day.....or Do Diapers Expire?

As I searched for diaper pictures to accent my piece on diarrhea........I found some interesting and thought provoking information. You can buy used diapers, gay diapers, adult diapers, astronaut diapers and thong diapers. I'm not sure right now which one of those is worse.......although the sight of gay diapers is now burned into my retina. Take care when you Google.

Max, Mads, and I went on our 'girl date' at the famous and beloved Chinese Buffet. I spend my time stuffing down rice noodles and trying to stop Mads from retelling the complete story of 'Bolt' to the whole table. Max seems distracted. He isn't interested in his dear friend Lii (our Chinese waiter and Max's Godfather). He doesn't want to high five or help Lii sweep.....he only eats one ice cream cone from the bottom up.....usually consuming at least two. His sweet little pork lips take nary a sip of Coke. Finally I pick him up and stand next to the table so that I can do the 'mommy sway' and talk. Hmmm I think Max has a wet rump. Oh yeah.......and it isn't the ice cream that fell out of the bottom of the cone! Shee oot. Max and I leave Mads on her third retelling of 'Bolt'.....sorry girls.

The wind is howling and nearly rips the hair from my head. I force open the sport van door and hold it open with my substantial body mass as the wind tries to nip my legs off by slamming it shut. I pull off the sweet micro Nikes and the socks.....which have chunks on them. The diarrhea has run down the leg to the sock. The consistency and color are that of melted peanut butter with raisins, the smell toxic, the pH level......1. Pure evil. I dig through the diaper bag and come up with a hand full of coupons and some Orbit......too bad it's not my dirty mouth that is the problem right now. The wipes do the trick and de-gunk the rump but there is no diaper to be found.

Aaaaaah, but my photographic memory remembers that I hid a diaper among the hordes of books we keep behind the seats......just for such an occasion. There it is in all of his shrunken, misshapen glory. I think it is about a size two and just from eyeing it......about 6 years old. The silicon beads inside have begun to clump at the back. Max takes it like a man but looks like he's wearing a thong. Do diapers expire? The thought crosses my mind that I should stash some for Armagedon. I wrap him up in a blanket in order to help him save face.

Today is just as bad. The peanut butter has turned to assid.....liquid diarrhea. Max has taken to using the potty......which would be a plus if it weren't so sad. We need our own personal HazMat team. We've spent the day watching the Jack-in-the-box pop up, sleeping through Bolt, and Max putting my hands where ever he wants me to rub........usually his face. I hate to have a sick baby, but I love it when they want to cuddle.