Thanksgiving

The other night driving home by myself from Provo I turned off the radio (even though it was so hard to part with Dave Ramsey and his wicked hot money sense) and really pondered/prayed about what I am thankful for. I know this may come as a surprise to those of you who know me......that I am thankful for anything. I'm sure it shocks my immediate family. They think I am a thankless cantankerous old cow. Anyway, I came up with enough things to fill the hour and 10 minute drive.......except for the part that was filled up with a 911 call.......although I am thankful for 911.....so I guess I was still thankful during that part too. So just as proof that I do have a heart, here is my list.......abridged list..........be thankful you don't have to read for an hour and 10 minutes.

*Family .........great parents that still take care of me. A sweet and tireless husband that will do anything to make me happy even though he thinks he never can. Screeching, malicious, delightful loves of my life......Ri, Jack, Mads, Max. Brothers, sisters extended family and in-laws that love us like their own.
*Mulitple homes in which to shelter my sorry carcass.
*A free country. With people brave enough to defend us even when we don't appreciate it. I'm going to add police and firemen here along with the soldiers.
*God and His Son and a relgion that teaches me how to work toward being the kind of person I want to be.
*Modern convenience...........washing machines, dryers, DISH WASHERS!!!!, heat, electricity. I remember watching my grandma wash her clothes in huge wash basins, rinse them in other ones and then run them through a wringer and haul them outside in all of their sopping wet weight, to hang on the lines outside. I'm sure she was grateful for the wringer and washing indoors............but I am so glad I don't have to spend my days that way.
*Books.........what else do I have to say?
*Friends
*Epidurals....I guess this could fall under modern convenience.........or maybe medical science, either way epidurals are where it's at. Maybe I'll buy stock just to be supportive..........
*Gluten Free food, despite the wreckless and extreme pricing I am glad there are companies out there making these things. If it were up to me and my stash of xanthan gum Madison would be eating grilled chicken and broccoli for the rest of her life.
*Health, mine and my family's.
*Chinese food.......thank you Chinese Nation for making the world a happier place one buffet at a time.
*Down............geese are terrifying creatures when animated but pluck them and stuff that sweet feathery goodness into a nice tight knit cotton/poly blend and I think Heaven is at hand.
*Nap time, yes, I must adjorn for now because Max says it is time for a kiss and a cuddle and freedom from coherence. A kiss and a cuddle is what makes life worth living.

To Go Private.......Or Not To Go Private.....This Is My Question?

I have pondered of late..........should I go private? I have enjoyed being found by people I haven't heard from in years............and I do LOVE to blog stalk. (Be assured I am harmless. I just like to see what is going on in other parts of the world.) But I am getting a little skittish lately. There are some things weighing on my mind, that I won't share here, but I was wondering the reasons those of you that have gone private decided to do so and the reason that some of you are staying public (ish).
Mostly this blog is my family journal and scrapbook so I guess going private isn't a bad idea because I don 't want to cut out all of my pictures and stop using my kids' names.
Let me know what you think. When I decide what to do I'll get all of your e-mails so you will be allowed into our little haven.

The Ferrible Fours

Is it just me or is the 4th year the worst? Everyone of my sweet doe eyed love monkeys has turned into a flaming beast at the age of four. I never thought Mads would follow in their unholy footsteps, but it seems she will. The age of four has been worse than any other year for us. There was never the Terrible Two's or Three's, but four makes me want to bury my head in the sand. For the protection of those that have already passed through these years I will not divulge the atrocities committed.................or at least attach a name...........one of them tried to knife me, one of them beat holes in my doors, one of them bit holes in their blinds, there have been spasms akin to epileptic seizures, Christmas decorations used as weapons of mass destruction..............the list goes on...............and makes me tired.
So far Mads has only thrown some nasty fits and flung her shoes at my head while I was driving. I sense it could get worse. She is also becoming fearful of more things, I am sure thanks to her successors. Last night she kept telling me she was afraid of "The Colt". I couldn't figure out what the heck she meant. Considering she has never had a speech impediment I knew I wasn't misunderstanding the word. I was like.........uh, you mean your are afraid of a baby horse? NO NO, the guy that turns green, she screams. Ah, enlightenment, the Incredible Hulk. In her amped up state she combined the two words...........sort of. The Incredible Hulk rocks so enormously (He was my favorite super hero when I was little. I had my very own Hulk that I carried around like my baby and I watched him everyday on T.V. with my grandma.) that I tried desperately to get her to understand that the Hulk is sweet and kind and only mean to nasty, evildoers. She still has the unnatural fear of Pickle People, she has now added other mysterious beings. I've tried every kind and decent act of assuring her that she is safe only to be rewarded with having one of the nasty little imps I raised repay me by taking her into a dark room and whispering furtively in her well shaped ears.
This morning my beautiful doll like baby attempted to slam me in the back door because I wouldn't make her a sippy cup of chocolate milk.
I think it must be that as they come to this age (the saddest age...............when they are escaping babyhood and running headlong into childhood.........when your baby is gone and you are left with the shell of something you used to love......and that loved you too) that they struggle between wanting to be big but still being too little and then wanting to be a baby when they are far too big.
Who am I kidding, four rots and then it gets worse. I wish they were all two, except for Max.......he can be two months.

The Year of a Million Dreams....................

Like Madison said, "Dreams really do come true." Yeah, lots of times they do, except for the one I had of Good still overcoming Evil in the last election. We were able to bury our heads in the sand for the whole day, until our return to the hotel room. Like true patriots we had taken the liberty of voting in the early poles. It seems that the U.S. population has changed like a gradual current and finally embraced socialism. Luckily we had our last hurrah..................I hope we can ever afford to do it again.
So with out further ado...............................
Breathless from our triumphant return from Dinsneyland.................the pictures you've all been waiting for. Max on his favorite ride of all time, because it had horses. He wouldn't let anyone touch him while he rode the horse and he shrieked and clawed when it was time to dismount.

Madison's birthday present, lunch with the princesses. She told Cinderella that she was Cinderella too. Cinderella was very gracious and said, "Oh, you go by that too?"

Mickey Mouse in his mouse house.

Mickey's fire engine.

Pooh Bear and his honey pots. Max loved Pooh. It was only one of the characters he liked close up. I'm not sure why it was Pooh that he liked............he doesn't watch TV so he doesn't know any of them. Also, we had to use a stand in for Jack, he doesn't like photo opportunities. We had to use Nate instead. Thanks Nate!

Final statistics:

Awesome days spent away from hum drum life....7

Thrills......................................................................... countless

Woobies lost to the sprall of Disneyland................2

Sunglasses lost to the pirates..................................1
Days of lukewarm showers.....................................6

Dead bodies................................................................1

Wrong turn.................................................................1
Vomit...........................................................................2

Can't wait to do it again!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Riles is the bloody pirate, Jack is Dr. Zombie, Max is a stunt driver, Mads is Mulan, and I am Mulan's mom. My lips make me look about 84 years old, all pinched and little, but it is my poor attempt at geisha makeup.

Pickle People

Pickle People..............I hate to tell you I don't know what they are. Madison does. Mads has never been afraid of anything in her life that I can even think of ***** until now. She came to me yesterday and she was shaking in fear. She said she was afraid of pickle people. She refused to go into her room alone and made me turn lights on even though the house was lit by sunshine. I hoped she would forget about the pickle people, but she didn't. I had a hard time not laughing even though she was clearly terrified. (I had such a hard time, that I actually did laugh uncontrollably. What a horrible mother.)
Bedtime came around and I for one had let the Pickle People slip my mind. She went to bed like she was supposed to but soon tore out of her room crying so hard it was unintelligible. Then I remembered.......The Pickle People. Daddy took her back to bed, along with his taser. He shot the taser all over the bedroom, under the bed, in the closet, even in her dresser drawers (apparently the Pickle People are about the size of squash and are easily concealed). All was going well, until Riley growled from her bed.........trying to be funny (evil little beast) and scared the willickers out of Mads. I guess tasers are nothing compared to the power of pickle. Needless to say I had a bed mate.

Madison tells me that she learned of Pickle People from a book........so much for the power of literacy. They sleep in the basement and when they wake up they say 'Boo' to scare you. I guess that could be scarey. She just saw the picture with this blog entry and confirmed that it does fit the profile of a Pickle Person. She said I should save it to show her dad so he knows what he is trying to taser next time.

Spooky Home Evening.......

Every year around Halloween we have a family Halloween dinner. We didn't get quite as wild this year, since most of our things are in storage. I started popping some pictures so I could blog about the fun event. Mostly I blog because it is like journaling to me. I don't really like journaling because I think I sound stupid......and Jason agrees.........sadly for me. So this is my journal. Anyhoo, we wanted to remember our fun tradition since we all (excluding Jason and Jack) love Halloween so much. The pictures are terrible. Jason actually told me if I continue on this way I should really take a photography class. He's right. He also said that he didn't think I even cared about Halloween dinner, I just wanted something to blog about. How rude. Pathetic picture of our Mummy hotdogs. So delicious and plump for a mummy. The hotdogs lead to a great discussion on Egyptology and mummification. So there, we learned something.

Devil's eyes. Oh..........oh, the terror.

Maggots and flies. I had to try some way to get a wee bit of nourishment into the kids. Maggots are known for their protein.

Another terrible picture.................lopped off lady fingers. Mmmmmm don't mind if I do.....

This little gem was a fiasco. It is bloody hand punch. The first bloody hand fell from it's perch in the freezer and splattered blood and gore all over the kitchen and our legs. We had to go cut off the other hand and freeze it until we were ready.

Dessert. Frankenstein heads sans gluten......because gluten is 'dead to us'. I'm trying to get Mads to tell everyone that gluten is 'out of the circle of trust'. So far she just tells everyone she meets....'I can't have wheat!! Does that have wheat in it? Do they know I can't have wheat or my stomach will explode?" So Franky is all rice, because rice 'is nice'.