Pittsburgh Is Code For BORED!

        When left to my own devices.....no internet, no TV, no newspapers...I crumbled.  Superman was in Pittsburgh for one week and I couldn't take the stress of being left alone with my own thoughts.  I took up a shameful crime...er crafting spree.                                                                     

Exhibit A) Wreath

B) Riley's unfortunate jewelry box

C) One of two free lamps that got in my way....plus my cute little jewelry plate that Superman mocks.

D) Little flowers and old pictures.....awe:)

E) The bench and it's accompanying cushion


I also massacred a pillowcase dress, another wreath, a flowered headband, two chairs, and a body pillow with covers for Ri's bed....but since my crafting and picture taking are about equal in negativity, the pictures didn't  make it.

Max's 3rd Birthday

Max opted to spend his day of birth doing testosterone jello shots.  Dada, Dackie, and Coppa took old Maximus out for some four wheeling.  They rode some fun trails all day and stopped for dog food soup (bean and bacon....which in my book smells like a can of Alpo) and a celebratory brownie.  Only one near accident occured when Dada dismounted the four wheeler to open a gate, leaving Max to grab the gas, throttle the heck out of it, and speed off.

The day before the Max's big day, the whole family went to the Gateway.  The kids played in the Olympic Fountain while I melted into a puddle and Superman went looking for cold liquid.

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A Maxism:   A few days before his birthday, Max and I were having a cuddle on the bed.  He'd had enough resting and threw himself knees first into my lower back.  As I blinked back tears and let out wimpers of pain, he said, "Ifs you foe up, cops west you.  (Not a threat at this point....I wouldn't have minded being lead off in a patrol car to my own hard bunk.....with no children to beat me.)"  When I told him I didn't think I was going to throw up anymore he said, "Then you wanna buy new ouse (house)? Beeeooo (blue) or bown (brown)?"  He obviously knows my love of realestate.

It's All Fun And Games Until........

One day Ri and her very goodest friend Regan decided to paint each other's faces.  I don't happen to have a lot of face paint since I have up clowning.  So I pulled out an old tube of lipstick and figured that would do.  Not much later they show up with their faces completely 'Innsbruck Bronze'.   They had begun by only painting certain parts but succumbed to the pull of the lipstick.  The funniest part.......it wouldn't come off.  Soap and water wouldn't cut through it and I didn't want to burn their faces off with any adult facial cleaning products.  We even tried lotion.  We finally settled on some 'Clean and Clear' stuff and then I had to moisturize the heck out of their skin.  They still had sparkle around their hairline and in their EYEBROWS along with a healthy glow on their skin.

I understand the need to take things a little too far......once you start you just can't stop.  I found a razor in the bathtub when I was little.  I felt like I could really make myself into a true beauty.  I shaved some arm hair and then decided........to clean up the eyebrows.  A very short swipe of the razor later......I had no eyebrows.  Unfortunately it took more than a damp rag and powerful acne cleaner to restore me to my former self.  My mother wasn't as easily tricked as I had assumed and realized that there was something severely wrong when I wrapped a scarf around my forehead and assumed a pirate brogue.

I Love Me Some Superman

Last night we were out on the dance floor at my sister's wedding.  The dance was for couples.  Every now and then the D.J. would ask couples to leave the floor depending on how long they had been married.  Trooper Lance Armstrong and I made it to the last 4 couples.  We are either A)old  B) surrounded by divorcees or C) off our rockers for each other:)   I will admit to B&C.  The floor basically cleared by 5 years and the couples that beat us had been married for over 30 years. 

Our 14 year anniversary just rolled around while we were cruising the Alpine Slide in Park City and I was drooling over Bradley Cooper.  This is why we have been able to stick it out for 15 years.  Me Bob isn't oblivious to my black heart and deeply grooved personality flaws.........he just rolls with it.  He isn't a thrill seeker but he knew I would love to shoot down a dry ski slope on a wee sled.  He wanted to see the A Team, but I know he knew I was only going for Coop's shiny  white teeth and blue eyes.  He brings me flowers when I cry for a week like I'm Bella and Edward just went AWOL and I don't give sufficient explaination.  He runs with me at my pace when I know he could go much faster.  He shaves his head or lets his scruff grow because it makes me smile.  He texts me pictures of himself in a suit when I'm not there to see it for myself.  He lets my bedside table pile high with countless books and gives merely a shake of the head.  He endures Chinese food in amounts forbidden by the FDA. 

I don't know why he abides the cold blood that runs through my veins, but he's my man and I'm glad he does. 

I Can Do That

I have recently come down with the serious 'I can do that' virus.  I would show you all of my recent endeavors except I am too lazy I am too busy to take pictures and then download them.  It would help me if all of you would assume that I made something at least as lovely as the picture above.
My sweet baby sister is getting married in nary a month.  It has spurred me to begin stalking the blogs of many a creative woman.  I have found that with a good amount of E-6000 not only can you stick any two objects together......the fresh scent of rubber and solvent will musk up your home.  Nothing can say 'I'm crafty' any louder than that.
Recently I have permanently glued affixed various plates and candle sticks to make some lovely platters with varied heights.  My most very favoritest one is a robins egg blue plate stuck to a rusty metal fleur-de-leis.  I had such feelings of pride.  I felt like this piece really set off my love nest.  Topped with my most choice pieces of silver jewelry it became a fantastically handly place to chuck my earings/necklaces when removed.  I fairly beamed with unremitted pride.  Ah, as we all know pride comes quite heavily before the fall.  As I lay propped on my bed of flannel down stuffed silk, waiting for my beloved to kiss me good night......he walked by, took one look at my materpiece and snickered.....rather, snorted and refused to make eye contact.  When I asked WHAT could possibly make him laugh seeing as how I had not uttered a word, he said nothing.  But I saw his eyes wander back to my awe inspired piece of art.  I knew he was laughing at it.  I persisted to know what was so funny.  Finally, with damp eyes, he admitted that he thought that the stunning jewelry tray I had made, was infact quite handsome.  He continued though, with......"It's so nice but it's kind of silly to have it in here.  It's on an old dresser and look at your stacks of books everywhere.  That piece is too nice for this room."
Ha, well I take that as a challenge.  I shall make my room deserving of my astounding works of glass and epoxy!!!! Bahahah!

She's So Gluten Free........

Mads and I hangin'.  Ri went to a party and the boys are off hunting sheds.  Mads uber sparked my toes and she talked me into putting makeup on her.  Then we whipped out the goods for gluten free baking.  And of course, when you bake you must listen to club mixes cranked up nice n' loud 'Boom, Boom, Pow'! 

Christian Carriage and Frame

Owner.....Christian Carriage and Frame

(The red car......#39....kicked it......graciously.)

How I wish I could take credit for what you are about to read.......The real genius lies with Coppa as he succinctly covered the scathing results of the Helper Pinewood Derby.

HEADLINE NEWS


Shock & Awe was the term used to describe the resounding butt kicking handed down by Jackson Marshall and his Pinewood Derby car dubbed Marshall Madness here Tuesday evening.

Stained glass windows shook in their frames as fire trucks with water cannons were called out to quash the riot that erupted after the surprising victory by Jack and Marshall Madness.

Entire food storage caches and temple recommends were offered to the designer and builder , Christian Carriage and Frame, of Carbonville Utah, for plans and secrets used to create the victory car.

One observer stated that “It was the fastest thing to hit this cultural hall in a milenia”.

Rumors that MEHC was attempting a hostile takeover of the little known design and build firm were not verified. Warren Buffet was unavailable for comment.