Two Things I Hate

While there are, in fact, many things I hate........enough to probably fill a blog............two of the things I hate happened today.
Mads, Max and I were doing our tri-weekly shopping in the Mother of all stores.......Walmart. Just wait, that's not the part I hate, well at least not the part I am blogging about. Mads, Jack and I have had a nasty head cold. Along with nasty head colds you often get post nasal drip, known to the lay man as snot running down the back of your throat all day. This tasteful little occurrence almost always gives me coughing fits.
We were meandering through the marketing genius called Walmart. There were end caps with eye catching things I would never buy but because of their marketing genius, now desperately need......yes even though I know I am being psychologically tricked. Also we saw many roll back prices. Even if the price only rolled back 2 cents, you guessed it, I really need it now. So there we were with our Churro's ( 78 friggin cents who can beat it?) and finger nail stickers and Strawberry Eggo's (clearanced thanks!) when suddenly I feel the coughing fit coming on. The approach is iffy. It may be a coughing fit, I may just have to cough. The thought of a coughing fit as you may well know causes enough anxiety to actually induce one. I begin a hasty retreat to the rear of the store where the public restrooms are located (thing I hate #2). I am already coughing but trying to hold it to a small cough, cough. Then I begin to tear up from the unbearable tickle in my throat. I look up and see an esteemed Wally World employee staring with concern. I now start running with the cart like I am about to jump mount a bobsled. I can hear Mads pretty gold sandals clacking after me.........Mommy wait!!
At the back of the store there are the regular restrooms and the 'family' restroom (for your pleasure). I head for the fam knowing I can shove the cart in there and hack my little heart out. Frick! It's occupied. I park Max at the door of the ladies room and tell Mads to stand there and guard him. I get in the ladies room door and finally succumb to the intense itch!! I start the kind of coughing fit where you weep, snot runs uncontrolled, you nearly become incontinent, and you basically vomit from coughing. I am frantic trying to decide do I go out and rescue the kids from certain kidnapping and torture at the hands of deranged Wally World shoppers or do I hide and pee myself in private. I dash recklessly between the door and the sinks trying to ralph at least in a container of some sort and looking out the door to guard my puppies. I am blowing my nose furiously and finally emerge long enough to get a drink from the well placed drinking fountain. Pretty soon here comes the Walmart chick-a-dee that saw me rush by. She pats me lovingly and asks if I am okay. I huskily reply................yeah, just a little throat tickle! It took about 10 minutes but I finally recovered. Mads was like..........why do you have blood in your eyes? Uh because I nearly lost them due to intra cranial pressure.
There you go two things I hate wrapped up with a bow and given as one big gift. I HATE cough attacks and I HATE public restrooms........aka the breeding ground for STDs, strange pubic hair, and other peoples pee on the toilet and on the floor. UGH!!
I hate the cough attack so much that I actually pray not to have one whilst at the temple. Yes people that is how I spend deeply spiritual time...pondering my own embarrassment.