YAK

Since Easter one or more of us have been suffering with bouts of unmentionable and disgusting bodily functions. The latest to succumb, poor Jack. In the wee hours of morning he started his "I am not going to Yak", scream. Luckily our coaching and puke drills paid off and he was able to make it to the garbage can. A small feet from top bunk in the dark. Go Jack!!
Daddy had luck with him today and swiftly left the house for the excitement of a funeral. Oh to smell gun metal all day, not last night's dinner. How would it be.
Besides an adorable and sensitive spirit, Jack also has a sensitive nose. The fever and hurculean heaving set his blood a drippin'. By the time the shrieks reached me and I had dislodged my self from the suckling babe, the bedding that had escaped the yak, fell prey to the blood. It was everywhere!!! It looked like Jack had suffered a beating in the school yard. The red stuff gushed from his nose and mouth. Nothing a little ice water and spray n' wash can't fix. People, this is why I get paid the big bucks. When I answered the add in the paper: Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!!!! Do you enjoy being jolted from what little sleep you get? Is bio hazard your game? Does the stench of aged chicken and stomach acid get your blood pumping? Do you live for laundry? Then this is the job for you!!" This is exactly what I had in mind ;)